How are your flowers looking?

Water...it is so important for LIFE. 

I was looking at my flowers on the deck and they look "wilty", scraggly, NOT healthy and vibrant! Usually, my deck pots are overflowing abundantly with luscious, beautiful flowers.  But, this has been a summer of hurry and busy, and the flowers have suffered.  I usually tend my flowers, but have assigned the task to the kids this summer.  Pondering, I realize that there are object lesson for my faith life as well.

I need the Living Water in my life on a daily, regular, overflowing basis or I will become wilty, scraggly, or even DIE, depending on how dry I have become.  I need Jesus so that I truly live and live abundantly and beautifully.

I can't depend on others for my spiritual water.  I can't depend on  Facebook posts.  I can't depend on YouTube videos or Sunday morning sermons.  I can't depend on the latest book.  I need to spend quiet alone time with the Lord and the Word and depend on Jesus as my Living Water.  Only He can fill me completely.  While those other things are beneficial, they should never be my SOURCE of refreshment. Only personal, intimate time with Jesus will refresh, nourish, and keep me beautiful and fruitful.

I also need a steady watering, not haphazardly drinking some here and there.  My neighbors' flowers are gorgeous because they have been steadily and consistently watered. I need a continual input of the Living Water.  I can't take sips here and there, but I need to drink deeply and constantly of Jesus.  I need Him to refresh and fill and make me beautiful.  He can only do this when I spend time with Him- not hurried, take-a-minute-here, once in awhile time- but quality, abundant, QUIET time...sitting at His feet, soaking Him in. Like my flowers, it is then that I will be healthy and bloom abundantly!

"If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink.  Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him."  John 7:38

Lord, water me.  Fill every fiber of my being with YOU.  I know only You are life-giving water.

Who Is Jesus? I AM Part 6

I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in Me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in Me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in Me and My words remain in You, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father’s glory that you bear much fruit, showing yourself to be My disciples. John 15:5-8

I am the VINE.

Have you ever thought about this verse? Have you wondered what Jesus meant when He said He was a vine? I love that God’s Word gives us examples from our daily lives that help teach spiritual Truth. When we ponder and visualize the verses, asking God for a spirit of wisdom and understanding, the scriptures come alive, truly teaching us!

What happens when a branch is separated from its vine...its source of life?

When the kids were little, we took our Christmas tree out to the curb, and they wondered why we didn’t just plant the beautiful tree in the back yard. I explained that although the tree still looked green and pretty, it was dead. It had been cut away from “the vine”- or it’s roots- where it gets its nutrients. I explained that the tree wouldn’t grow anymore, no matter how rich the soil was. It was only good to be “picked up, thrown into the fire and burned,” or in our case, picked up by the recycling truck and mulched.

The tree needs to remain in the vine to have life.

We need to remain in our Vine (Jesus) to have life. If we are abiding in an intimate relationship with Him, we will bear much fruit. To be fruitful, flowering, vibrant, ALIVE, we must be connected to the Source of Life….Jesus. We must be drawing on Him to sustain us, to nourish us, to make us flourish.

When we don’t, we will wither.

I can’t rely on myself. I can’t do things in “Tracy strength.” I must depend on Him. I must abide in Him.

When I don’t, I wither.

I received a beautiful bouquet of flowers for my birthday once that were gorgeous. But, they weren’t connected to the vine. They were cut away. And, still they remained vibrant, lovely, pleasing…..

Not one week.

Not two weeks.

Not three weeks.

SIX weeks they remained gorgeous.

But, eventually, they withered. Eventually they died. I had to throw them away.

Our relationship with Jesus is the same way. When I don’t remain in Him, when I don’t seek after Him with all my heart, when I am depending on myself instead of Him, when my RELATIONSHIP with Him is not healthy, I will wither.

Like the flowers, I may stay beautiful for a while. I may be “OK” for a week….or six weeks….or a year. But, eventually, I will wither. Jesus said in verse 4, “No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine.” I can’t bear fruit on my own. I must stay connected to Him.

He is my source.

Isn't it amazing that Jesus comforts His disciples right before He goes to the cross, telling them to remain in Him....to allow His Word to remain in them. They are in an olive grove, with vines and branches all around. Jesus points to the branches and the vines and tells them, that HE is the VINE and THEY are the BRANCHES. He then tells when they remain in Him, they will bear much fruit.

Lord, help me to always turn to You as my Source. I want to remain, abide, flow in You and I know then that Your Life flows into me, allowing me to bear fruit. I know when I am disconnected from You I wither. Fill my heart with desire for You, O God!


This is a series I first posted April, 2008. I am re-posting it in honor of Easter. For the first 5 parts, please scroll down...

Who Is Jesus? I AM Part 3

I AM the Way....

One night at Bible Study, our group of women were answering the question from our study, "Briefly describe when you first accepted Christ. How sure were you of what you believed at that moment?" Christine brought up the discussion on this topic. She shared that she never had a "moment." She always knew God and loved God, but didn't have a time she could answer the question. A wise woman at our study encouraged Christine to take that "moment." As she explained, we can grow up knowing about God, even professing love, but we want to commit our lives to Him. We want to accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior. We want to make that profession of ourselves to Him.

I shared that I grew up in the Church. I was baptized and confirmed (this is an act in the Lutheran faith that 8th grade students make after going through 2-3 years of religious training- it is "confirming your infant baptism and proclaiming faith in Jesus"). I said my prayers. I knew about God. I loved God. But, it wasn't until I was about 30 that I made Jesus Christ the Lord of my life. It was through a Bible Study that talked about having a relationship with Jesus and freedom from strongholds that introduced me to Jesus Christ- my PERSONAL Savior, Redeemer, Lord.

For me, this was my "moment." And, how sure was I of what I believed? I knew that I knew that I knew that I knew Jesus Christ died for me, set me free from the bondage of sin and death, gave me a new life, a new hope, an inheritance yet to come in Heaven and abundant LIFE here on earth.

I knew that my life was FOREVER changed.

We encouraged Christine to have a "chat" with God on her 20 minute car ride home. Through the course of the conversation, I had likened our "moment" to a wedding- when we make a commitment to Jesus, giving our lives to Him. This was Christine's email the next morning:

For those of you who were not at the study last night, we talked about knowing when we first had a relationship with Jesus. I had a hard time figuring it out, because I never really had "a day" when I knew like others have had.

Those of you there last night, thank you so much for your encouragement.

I HAD THAT CHAT WITH GOD! Praise Jesus!

All the way home in my car. I cried almost the whole way, I was so moved by simply saying out loud to God that I want to commit my life to Him. I had no idea I would feel that way. Tracy, your analogy to a wedding day says it all.

I was almost nervous starting out, like having cold feet or something. But by the end I knew I was entering the best relationship of my life. As I started praying and talking to God, the words just flowed. I just knew He was there, in my car, in my heart, surrounding me. And you know what else? It was as if I could feel you all praying for me.

I am so blessed for all of you, really, really, really! You all were so non-judgmental last night and I am so blessed to have you all in my life. Thank you for your encouragement! How awesome of a gift is that??!! I couldn't ask for better people to take this journey with.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

In Christ's presence,
Christine
Isn't God AMAZING, AWESOME, INCREDIBLE??? And, the most wonderful thing is Christine's signature: In Christ's presence. She is EXPERIENCING His presence so much so that she felt compelled to put it as her signature! Praise God!

Jesus said in John 14:6, "I am the Way and the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through Me." A relationship with Christ Jesus is the only WAY to have a relationship with God. Through His Blood, by His sacrifice, and in the power of His Name, we come into the presence of the Living God. There is no other way. Jesus is the Truth. There is no other Truth. Jesus is LIFE. There are no words to explain the LIFE you experience when you make Jesus the Lord of your life. Even the words in "Amazing Grace"are inadequate, but the best I can do- I was lost, but now found, blind, but now I see.

There is nothing you can do to earn your way to the Father. Jesus has done it for you already.

Have you had your "moment?" It is never too late. Have a moment right now. It is simple. It is easy. Jesus is waiting for you with arms open wide. Simply talk to Him. Tell Him that you love Him. Tell Him that you desire a relationship with Him. Tell Him that you know you need Him- that you are desperate for Him. Tell Him that you are a sinner in need of a Savior. Tell Him that want a relationship with Him. He loves you.

He wants a relationship with you even more. He wants a moment with you.

(This is series of "I AM" posts republished from 2008.)

Who Is Jesus?....I AM Part 1

Who was Jesus?
Who is Jesus?

Jesus said several times,
"I Am...."

Jesus said, "I am the Bread of Life. He who comes to me will never go hungry and he who believes in me will never be thirsty." -John 6:35

Jesus said this right after the miracle of feeding 5,000 people. I love that! They had been hungry and He had fed them with earthly food, then He gives them the Real Food- Himself! They had experienced hunger and were fed with bread, but He tells them that He is the Bread of Life. He tells US that He is this bread....

Are you hungry?

Jesus can fill you.

Are you lonely?

Do you need love?

Do you need energy?

Do you need hope?

Do you need faith?

Come, eat of the Bread of Life and be filled.

Be satisfied.

Jesus said that when we fill up on Him, have a relationship with Him, we will not go hungry. He says when we believe in Him we will never be thirsty again.

Jesus met with a woman and said something very similar. While talking to the Samaritan woman at the well, (John 4) Jesus talks about “living water.” He points out the “world’s” water- the water of the well, and says, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again.”
Isn't that true with our “water”? Food, possessions, praise from man, material possessions, or watching TV never satisfies us. We continually want more and more. Our desire becomes insatiable, sometimes consuming us. The more we have, the more we want! Jesus tells the woman at the well, “ But, whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” (John 4:14)

Doesn’t that water sound so much more refreshing? Not only will our initial thirst be quenched, but we will have a SPRING bubbling, flowing within us! Not a glass of water, a drop of water, but a source of water. You will never, never be thirsty again! Jesus says in John 7:37-38, “If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him.”

Lord, thank You for being my daily bread. When I pray the Lord's prayer and pray, "Give us today our daily bread," I am praying for my needs of the day, but I am also praying for You, Jesus! I want You, Jesus to be my "daily bread"! I want to be filled, satisfied with You. Lord, You say when I fill up on You, I will never go hungry. Thank You! Jesus, You said Your bread was to the do the will of the Father. Lord, I want that to be my bread, also! I want to do Your will! Lord, fill my desires, my needs, my hopes, my fears, fill everything I am with You! Thank You that you are my Bread from Heaven- my everything! I love You, Lord! I love You, Jesus!

First posted April 2008

When "they" say SHUT UP, I will shout louder...

Have you ever read about my friend "BART" in Mark 10?  How I want to be like blind "Bart"!  Here is his story:

⁴⁶ Then they came to Jericho. As Jesus and his disciples, together with a large crowd, were leaving the city, a blind man, Bartimaeus (which means “son of Timaeus”), was sitting by the roadside begging. ⁴⁷ When he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to shout, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”
I love that he SHOUTED. He is not afraid to cry out to Jesus. Listen to what happens next...

⁴⁸ Many rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”
 
Isn't that always the way? Someone is always there to tell us to be quiet....don't bother Jesus....He is too busy.....He isn't concerned with our "little problems."

⁴⁹ Jesus stopped and said, “Call him.”

Jesus STOPPED.....stopped what He was doing....stopped where He was going.
So they called to the blind man, “Cheer up! On your feet! He’s calling you.” ⁵⁰ Throwing his cloak aside, he jumped to his feet and came to Jesus.
⁵¹ “What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked him.
Don't you love that? Jesus asks each of us, "What do you want Me to do for YOU?"

The blind man said, “Rabbi, I want to see.” 

That is the cry of my heart- Jesus, I want to SEE. Give me eyes to see You. Give me spiritual eyes. Like the words to "Amazing Grace," I was blind, but now I see." Look what happens next.

⁵² “Go,” said Jesus, “your faith has healed you.” Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus along the road. 

Notice that the man's FAITH healed him. Lord, may I have faith like that! And, what does he do next?

He FOLLOWS Jesus.

May I always follow You, Jesus. May I always follow You.

Father, thank You that You are ever ready to heal me....all I have to do is ask. May I always seek hard after you, no matter who or how many are telling me to "shut up." May I be like the man and SHOUT LOUDER! Lord, may I have that kind of faith! Lord, thank You for Your compassion. Thank You that You open wide my eyes to see You. Thank You that, although I was blind, now I see. Thank You, Jesus. Praise You.

He Loves Me! Yea, Yea, Yea!

Do you know how the Lord feels about YOU?

You are so precious to God. He loves you so much. You see, He loves the world, and you are included in that, but Sister, He loves YOU.

“The Lord Your God is mighty to save. He takes great delight in you. He will quiet you with His love. He will rejoice over you with singing.”

God woos us, He whispers to us, He never gives up on our love.

He desires YOU.

He wants a deep relationship with YOU.

He wants YOU to be completely abandoned to HIM, head over heals crazy about Him!

We are His beloved and He is the lover of our souls. You may have never experienced this love relationship with the Lord. This may all sound very new, and a little strange to you. Or, maybe you feel unworthy of His love. Maybe you have felt this love once, but have left it grow cold over time.

Or, maybe your heart is soaring in agreement right now because you ARE experiencing this intimacy with God.

Now matter where you are, God is calling you to Him. He meets each one of us exactly where we are, and it doesn’t matter if this is all new to us, or we have believed it for years. God wants each one of us to go deeper in Him today. Friend , it is not an accident or a coincidence that you are reading this today. He has called you by name and placed this desire in your heart to know Him more.

Do you know the bible is a love letter written to you? How God expresses His love for us, all through it, both the old and new testaments. When you are reading it, He is speaking directly to YOU?

A few summers ago, I was cleaning out our basement, and I found a box of old letters and keepsakes. As I began to read the letters, I realized that they were love letters my husband had written to me before we where married while we were living apart. He was in college, and I was still at home in high school. These letters were so sweet as he professed his love for me and told me how much he missed me and longed for me. He made promises of our future and told me how he wanted to take care of me.

When I began reading them, I was shocked. They were from so long ago, I had no memory of ever reading them! I am sure at the time, I read and reread them, hanging on every word Brian wrote. But, 20 years later, I forgotten the sweet words he had written to me.

Oh, friend, how I want to encourage you to read God’s love letters every day! In His Word, God professes His love for you. He reminds you of His promises. He tells you how much He longs for you when you apart and He declares He wants to care for you! Don’t ever let time slip by so that you forget the sweet words He has written to you! Store them up and cherish them within your heart.

How my heart longs for all of you to be WILD for God..... passionate, hungry for more and more and more of HIM! I pray that you be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God! I pray that you continue to press on in Him!

I wish you were the BEST Mommy!

"I wish you were the best mommy."

Ouch. Those words can sting- especially when you are in the middle of a crowded video store. What would bring such exasperated words from a four-year-old?

"Mommy, can I have cotton candy?"

No, honey.

"Can I rent THIS movie?"

No, not tonight.

"An ice cream sandwich would make me feel better. Can I have ice cream?"

No. It's too close to bedtime.

"I wish you were the BEST mommy."

Oh, how familiar those words sound to my heart.

"Lord, can I have this?"

No, Tracy. Not this time.

"Lord, can I do this?"

No, Tracy, it is not the right timing.

"Lord, if You just allowed THIS- I would feel better!"

No, Tracy.

Sigh......Lord, I wish YOU were the "BEST Daddy."

In other words, I wish You would let me have my way! I wish You would say "yes" to the things I want! I want what I WANT!

Do you ever feel like that four-year-old?

I know in my mind what the Truth is- "God's ways are not my ways" (Isaiah 55:8-9). I also know Matthew 7:11. "If you then, evil as you are, know how to give and advantageous gifts to your children, how much more will your Father Who is in heaven (perfect as He is) give good and advantageous things to those who keep on asking Him." AMP

And yet.....

I can become focused on MY way. I can be stubborn, immature, and self-centered. I can lose sight of the fact that God is Sovereign. He is good. He answers prayer. HE knows what is best for me.

Cotton candy, although tasty is not good for me- especially at 7 PM. "THAT" movie would not be appropriate for my little eyes. And....alas....ice cream is wonderful, but I will not always be allowed to have it- especially right before bed when I have a difficult time going to sleep anyway! Because I love my daughter, I say no at times. Our Father in Heaven, who loves us infinitely more than we could ever love anyone, loves us too much to always say "yes."

We have to remember, God always, always "answers our prayers," but not always the way we want or understand. Sometimes, when God answers, the answer is “No.” Sometimes the answer is “not yet.” And it may not seem “right” or fair to us. We have to remember two important things- God’s ways are not our ways and God’s timing is not our timing. But, God’s ways are perfect and His timing is perfect. We can’t see things the way God can. God has your WHOLE life planned, not just this season of it. Remember, life on earth is just a snapshot of our eternal life. God sees the end from the beginning.

God is your FATHER. He has a plan for you. He knit you together in your mother’s womb. He created you. He has counted the number of hairs on your head. He takes care of you, better than you ever could. Again, He knows what is best for you, or how you will grow from your life experiences. He can see “the big picture of your life.”

So, although we may not always get "the cotton candy," we can be assured that our Father loves us so much and ALWAYS does what is best for us.

"The Lord your God is with you. He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you. He will quiet you with His love. He will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

And, as a mother, I have to make the hard choices that don't always make me the most "popular" with my children. I have to "do the hard thing" of telling them "no", even when my daughter tells the whole video store that I'm not the "best Mommy"!

Father, thank You for loving me so much. Lord, thank You that You sometimes say "no." Thank You that You are the best parent I could ever have. I love You, Lord. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Restoration

Restore.

Restoration.

Sometimes we don't know we even need it....or just how badly we do.

For those of you who walk with me may have known this has been a year of spiritual dryness....




Dry devotions time.

Dry prayer life.

Dry small group time.

Dry writing.

In fact, when I had to write a devotion for the Cafe, Laced with Grace, or At the Well(forget my own blog!), I would sit feeling completely empty....like I had nothing to "give." I often pulled from my archives just to post something.....anything. I had even taken a break from the Cafe and the Well.

I was dry.

Then we went to Family Camp last week.

This was a LIFE CHANGING experience for the whole family.....

But, for me- I have been completely RESTORED.

God healed my heart....I was able to honestly share and "deal with" things I have pushed down- with God, Brian, and ME...my fears.....my year with homeschooling.....the pressure I have felt this year trying to DO IT ALL and be everything.....Brian's dad passing away....strife at our ELCA church....friends divorcing....taking care of parents...

We arrived Sunday evening and went to worship right after dinner. From the first song, the tears flowed down and I released all that had been pent up for so long.

I worshiped the Lord.

I let go.

He began His restoration in me.

The next morning Pastor Mike taught on Mary and Martha. OK, for any of you who have been following me for any amount of time, you know I have TAUGHT on this passage! See here and here.

Their story is precious to me. And, to have God remind me of all He had taught me about Mary and Martha the very first morning pierced my heart immediately! OK, I sat and cried through that lesson. I know He was whispering, "OK, Tracy....let's hear it again."

I realized for the past year I had become Martha.

I had lost Mary.....who I REALLY am.....the disciple at His feet soaking up His Presence....hanging on every word....face upturned to RECEIVE Him....

Restoration.

We then went to break time. Brian and I took a walk back to our cabin where I was able to spill out all that has been on my heart. Through tears, I shared my feelings of inadequacy, failure, distraction..... I rested in his strong arms.

Restoration.

We went back for more teaching. Pastor Mike began to teach about the woman from John 8.

OK, again, if you know me, you know this story is also PRECIOUS to me. See here and here. God brought a whole women's retreat, "Walking in the Light" with this teaching! For goodness' sake, I even used the same clip from the Passion!

But, I had forgotten.

Again, God spoke to me, reminding me I had forgotten the things from "at first" (Rev. 2:1-7). I had forgotten my first love.

Restoration.

Witnessing a group of young people honestly bare their souls with "cardboard testimonies."

Restoration.

Watching my husband walk in his calling as spiritual leader of our home....for the first time.

Restoration.

Taking communion as a family.

Restoration.

Watching my teenage son experience Jesus and be WASHED in the Holy Spirit.

Restoration.

Worshiping the Lord, fully, passionately, completely, openly, honestly...

Restoration.

I am so full.

Thank You, Jesus.

The Good Ole' Days......

"I want to go back to the good ole' days, God!"

Back to slavery.

Back to hardship.

Back to death.

Can you believe the Israelites would even consider this????!!!!

These are accounts of the Israelites in the wilderness from Numbers 16. It is fascinating....and boy, can I see MYSELF in these accounts!

Even though God delivered them with signs and miracles from BONDAGE and cruel slavery, every time they would come up against hardship in the desert (or "wilderness"), they would grumble and complain to Moses. They would ask Moses, "Why did you bring us out of Egypt? We should go back to Egypt!" This was the one that REALLY got me, "Isn't is enough that you have brought us up OUT OF A LAND FLOWING WITH MILK HONEY (EGYPT), to kill us in the desert? Morever, you haven't brought us into a land flowing with milk and honey or given us an inheritance of fields and vineyards."

Can you believe that?! Yes, Egypt was a land flowing with "milk and honey", but not for them! They were slaves! They did not even get to experience the bounty and prosperity!

Isn't that just like us, at times? When times get hard, as God is leading me through my own personal wilderness, I cry out for the way things WERE. I would rather grumble and complain about the "good ole' days", even when they weren't in truth so good, instead of digging my heals in, taking God's hand and walking with Him in the desert. I willingly trade freedom for bondage.

What REALLY blew me away, though, is that a group of priests get really mad and rebel against Moses and Aaron (Moses' brother and "top" priest). A priest named Korah (remember this name!) got his family and 250 other leaders to rise up against Moses. He wants some of Moses' power. He says, "The whole community is holy (yea, right!), and the LORD is with all of them. Why do you put yourselves above them?"

You see, in Korah's eyes, "holy" meant following all of the laws and rituals. But, God looks beyond following the law....He looks at the heart. Yes, they were following and obeying God's directions, but with what kind of attitude? And, didn't God Himself place Moses in charge? Wasn't it Moses who led them out of Egypt? And, this is most important, who talked to God? Who continually was in the presence of God? It was Moses.

Moses had a HEART for God, a relationship with Him, a hunger for His presence.

So, the next day they go to appear before God, to let Him judge between them. God tells Moses and Aaron to seperate themselves from these men (Korah, his family, and 250 leaders) so that He can "put an end to them at once." Moses and Aaron fell facedown and cried out, "O God, God of the spirits of mankind, will you be angry with the entire assembly when only one man sins?" Moses does what He has continually done through grumbling and complaining of the Israelites- He falls face down and cries out for God's mercy. When you read the story, the people grumble and blame Moses. It strikes me that Moses is forgiving and merciful even when He is the brunt of all their bad behavior. Anyway, God has everyone move away from Korah, Datham, and Abiram (family). He warned the assembly, "Move away from their tents or you will be swept away because of their sins."

God opened the earth and swallowed up the families of these men (women and children, too), then a" fire came out of the LORD and consumed the 250 men who followed Korah."

God was MAD! He was angry at their rebellion, their lack of reverence, complaining, and pride. Now you would think that would have been the end of it, wouldn't you? I mean, if it would have been me, if I saw the earth open up and swallow people and then a fire consume 250 more, I would have been doing some big time repenting! For us, it obvious that they had sinned and offended the LORD greatly. But, can you believe this, the next morning, " the WHOLE (YES, WHOLE!) community grumbled against Moses and Aaron. 'You have killed the LORD'S people' they say."

What rebellion! And, blaming! WHO killed the community???? MOSES????? We never want to take responsiblity of our own actions when it much easier to blame someone else! Notice, again, that it is against Moses that grumble and blame. Even though they saw with their own eyes the earth open up and fire come from the LORD.

Well, you can guess that the LORD was ANGRY! He was going to "put an end to them at once." Again, Moses and Aaron fall facedown on behalf of the people. Moses tells Aaron to put incence in his censer to make atonement for the people. "The wrath came out of the LORD and the plague had started." But, Aaron runs over to the people with his censer and made atonement for the people." The plague had already started, so Aaron was a dividing line between the living and the dead. The plague stopped where he stood. 14,700 people died from the plague.

OK, this so amazed me. I wondered how could the people have been so obstinate, rebellious, stubborn? How could they have witnessed with their own eyes God's anger the day before as He dealt with the rebellious Korah and his followers, and still not be humble and repentant? Instead, they go and do the same thing? Didn't they see how angry God was? I began asking God how could this be? How can people see with their own eyes the will of God, and still rebel against Him? Wouldn't what they witnessed the day before nipped any grumbling in the bud? Stopped it cold? Obviously not. But, how, why?

And, God showed me that these people, although they follwed Him, did not have a "relationship" with the Living God. They foll0wed His commands and rules, but didn't know His heart. They didn't seek after the presence of God ("you go, Moses, and talk to God for us"). They didn't spend time with Him, getting to know HIM. They wanted His blessings and the promised land, but they didn't want to get to know Him.

And, how many of us are like that today? We want all the benefits of God, His blessings, answered prayer, our "promised land", but are not willing to get to know HIM, to spend time with Him, to get to know His heart. Do we hunger after His presence? Do we seek HIM above all else? Not just praying because we need something, but praying and reading His Word because we want Him more and more. We long for Him because life without His presence is NOTHING!

Nothing compares to the joy and the passion we fill when we are walking with Him.

Moses was amazing. Do you know that when God got fed up with the Israelites at one point, He told Moses, "OK, go into the promised land. I will send an angel to go in before you to clear the way. BUT, I am not going in with you. You will not have my presence." But, Moses refuses! He knows that life in the desert WITH God is better than any promised land full of blessing and prosperity WITHOUT God.

Oh, God, may that always be MY prayer, the cry of MY heart! May I say I don't want the thing (no matter how wonderful) if You are not going to be with me! I don't want the job promotion if I won't have Your presence with us. I don't want any speaking opportunity if Your Spirit is not there! I don't want ____ without YOUR presence!

Oh, God, may we hunger and thirst for Your presence above all! May we continue to seek You with all of heart, our soul, our mind, our strength. May Your love be better than life!

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

Rejoicing in His amazing love!

One thing at Laced with Grace

Oh, I hope you can join me today at Laced with Grace! I will be chatting about ONE THING!

Come on over! Click here.

Come sit awhile....

I was going through some old blog posts and "found" this. I say found, like it was an accident, but it wasn't.....God knew I needed to be encouraged by this post again and led me to it. My prayer is that it encourages you as well:

I was reading an old journal this morning during my very SHORT prayer time (got up late!) and Lord, as I read it, my heart cried out for You! Where is this girl who poured out her heart to You, who dove into the Word, hungry for more and more and more? Reading my commentary of several Old Testament passages, I was a little surprised by my wisdom and understanding of the scriptures which ONLY comes from the Holy Spirit. None of me- all of You, Lord. I do not want this to sound prideful at all because it is not TRACY, but You, God!

You had given me such depth of knowledge of what I was studying that it surprised me this morning. But, hasn't that been my prayer from the start? That You Lord would "give me a spirit of wisdom and understanding so that I may know You better?" And, when "you draw near to God, He will draw near to you." And, "Seek the Lord with all your heart and He will be found by you." Those have always been my prayers.....what I have been crying out for from the beginning. You answer prayer! I had forgotten the things I had written. That makes me sad.

I want to continue to grow in You, Lord. I want to continue to go deeper. I want to experience You more and more. I want Your Word to continue to open up to me and "blow me away."

Last week I was listening to Revelation (Audio Bible) and again, Revelation 2:2-5 hit me.

"I know your deeds, your hard work and your perseverance....Yet
I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the
height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at
first."

Oh, Lord, I repent! I do not want to forsake You! I want to draw nearer to You, not become distant! O, Lord, forgive me!

What is going on?

One thing that comes to mind is busyness. Oh, how the enemy loves to use this against me! And, it is not a new trick, but one that is "tried and true" that he brings back again and again to trip me.

Lord, I know I need to come and rest in You....to come and sit with You awhile. I love You so much, Lord. I want to grow in my relationship with You! I don't want to backslide! I don't want to forget my first love! I love You so much, Jesus!

Thank You for reminding me about these journals. Thank You for reminding me that "You pour out Your wisdom GENEROUSLY to anyone who asks." Thank You for slowing me down to rest in You. I know You are the most important thing in life. I know You are my first love. I rededicate myself to You. I ask You, Lord, to fill my cup to overflowing again. My heart and flesh cry out, for You the living God. You are life. You are life. I love You.

Oops! I did it again....

Well, I have done it again.

Expected people to fill my longing heart.

Expected people to satisfy me....

Expected to find peace in someONE, instead of THE ONE.

With everything going on my life....Brian's dad passing away....catching up with homeschooling after 2 months of his dad being so sick....trying to get ready for Thanksgiving and Christmas....trying to BE the WIFE...the MOTHER...the TEACHER...the FRIEND....the DAUGHTER....the SISTER...

My "love bucket", my heart, my spirit....has been emptying.

And, I have been looking to PEOPLE to fill it.

And becoming angry at them when they can't.

Feeling lonely.

Sad.

Empty.

Angry.

Tired.

I know the ONLY way to be filled.

The ONLY ONE who can truly satisfy...

OK, Lord.

Here I am.

Fill me.

YOU

are what I need.

ONLY

YOU.

In the quiet.....

In the quiet......Lord, here I am...at 2:18 AM......because I haven't found time with You in the quiet for awhile.

So, You call to me.....in the Quiet....

So much on my mind.....so much activity. So many things You have called me to do...

but, if it is all truly from You, then I know You will equip.....

So, here I am Lord.....in the quiet....

waiting.....listening.....

fill me.

I love You, Lord.

Lessons from a Garden...

Please join me at Laced with Grace today where I share lessons I have learned from my garden!

Use that razor, girl!

I wrote this devotion for Laced with Grace last week, but just HAD to share it with you here as well!

OK….it is full-fledged shorts weather here in Iowa. Time to break out that razor and give those winter legs a good shave.

As I was tackling those last stubborn hairs that just don’t seem to want to get OFF, I thought about how God’s Word compares itself to the sharpest razor.

“For the Word of God is full of living power. It is sharper than the sharpest knife, cutting deep into our innermost thoughts and desires. It exposes us for what we really are. Nothing in all creation can hide from Him. Everything is naked and exposed before His eyes.” Hebrews 4:12-13 NLT

Have you ever tried to shave with a dull razor?

I don’t know about you, but my legs tend to end up looking like this. Not a pretty picture.

My razor HAS to be sharp to effectively shave my body WITHOUT leaving little cuts and wounds. God’s Word has to be sharp to effectively reach those areas that we tend to hide away…..pretending they don’t exist…..hiding from the truth. The NIV puts it this way, “For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.”

It gets in there! “Dividing between joints and marrow.” No hiding from His Word. It penetrates our very being. It searches our motives and intentions.

Why?

It has power to CHANGE us.

It refines us.

Grows us.

Frees us.

Softens us.

Convicts us.

Encourages us.

God’s Word is ALIVE and ACTIVE and WORKS within us!

And, I have found that it is ONLY His Word that cuts cleanly without cutting me. When I try to follow MY word or the WORLD’S words, I find myself with a cut-up spirit, full of band-aids. Kind of like using a dull razor.

Lord, thank You for Your Word that PENETRATES deep within me. Thank You that even when I try to hide from you (and myself), Your Word gets right in where it needs to go. Give me a spirit of wisdom and revelation so that I might know You better and open the eyes of my understanding to fully comprehend what You are teaching me. Lord, I believe that Your Word is ALIVE and ACTIVE in me! Thank You, Lord! In Jesus’ Name we pray. AMEN!

Have you heard the Tea Cup story?

I am at the Well today sharing the "Teacup Story"....please join me! Click here!

Have you ever tried to reason with a 2 YEAR OLD?

Abby and I were in deep conversation the other day.....just WHO is "Grandma"????

I was trying to explain to her that "Grandma" is MY "Mommy".

No, she is "Grandma", silly!

Yes, she is Grandma, but she is MY Mommy.

NO, she is Grandma.

Yes, she is Grandma, but she is MY MOMMY.

Hmmmmm.............. a new approach is needed.

OK. Sometimes we have 2 names. You know, Ashley is YOUR sister, but she is my daughter.
I'm her mommy.

No..... she is SWEETIE, silly!

We can go by many different "names." Sometimes these labels are welcomed- mother, daughter, sister, friend.....

Other times, the world puts on us names we do not want to keep- failure, loser, not-good-enough, worthless, ugly, fat....

We also have names that God calls us that we must never forget- chosen, beloved, precious, redeemed, forgiven....

The next time the world tries to fix a label on you, reject it and call yourself what God calls you- LOVED.

"Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are Mine." Isaiah 43:1

Father God, thank You for loving me so much. Thank You for calling me by name. Lord, I pray that You would silence those voices that would try to name me something else. Help me to remember that I am named by YOU. YOU call me by name and those names are Precious, Child, Beloved.... I love You, Lord! In Jesus' Name we pray. Amen.

Ever feel like a burned waffle????????

OK, THIS was my morning this morning!!!!!

Put the homemade waffles that I so diligently prepared yesterday in the oven to broil. WHY broil, you ask????????? Well, to heat them up FAST, silly! You know, because I hadn't allowed myself enough time to get all of things I needed to do DONE. So, in effort to speed up the routine, put the frozen waffles in the oven, turned on broil and continued to frantically run around like a chicken with my head cut off!!!!! And, of course, what did I do? Forgot about them! Adding too much stuff to my morning.... Trying to do ONE MORE THING....

So, as I walked down the stairs from brushing my teeth/reading memory verses/getting the checkbook from desk/grabbing my shoes/adjusting my outfit/clicking off the day's schedule in my mind (you know....multitasking????), I realized even before I smelled the AWFUL burning smell that I had forgotten the waffles. "The waffles!!!!" Screaming as I ran down the stairs.

Yep. Confirmed.

Burned.

Useless.

Wasted.

(Well, maybe the dog can eat them.)

Lord, what are you showing me here?

I know I must SLOW down. I must finish something before I begin something else. You are NOT a God of chaos, but a God of order. Help me to depend on You MINUTE by MINUTE and MOMENT by MOMENT. Help me to laugh at the burned waffles of life, but help me to learn the lessons from them.

Love you, God. Thanks for cereal.

Groundhog Day!

Did you see the movie, "Groundhog Day" with Bill Murray? You know...he has to relive the same day- Groundhog Day- over and over and over again....until....he changes?

Life can be a bit like Groundhog Day, don't you think? Please hop on over to Laced With Grace to read more..........

Follow ME!

I am reading a wonderful new devotional called, "Jesus Calling~ Enjoying Peace in His Presence." It is written as if Jesus were talking to you. Each day "Jesus" beckons to me to rest in Him, trust Him, walk with Him....

Listen to today's devotion:

"I am leading you along the high road, but there are descents and ascents....Your assignment is to follow Me, allowing Me to direct your path. Let the heights beckon you onward, but stay close to Me. Learn to trust Me when things go "wrong." Disruptions to your routine highlight your dependence on Me. Trusting acceptance of trials brings blessings that far outweigh them all. Walk hand in hand with Me through this day. I have lovingly planned every inch of the way. Trust does not falter when the path becomes rocky and steep. Breathe deep draughts of My Presence, and hold tightly to My hand. Together we can make it!" Day 18

I was pondering "hold tightly to My hand." I thought about all of the times when my children take MY hand and PULL ME..... Instead of FOLLOWING me and going where I am going (or staying), they sometimes take my hand and try to PULL ME whereTHEYwant to go.

Maybe it is because they want to go faster than me....

Maybe it is because they don't know the way and trying to go a different direction...

Maybe something has caught their eye and they want to explore....

As I thought about all of this, I realize that I, too, try to pull my Heavenly Father along at times. I don't want to wait for Him.... I want to explore MY own direction, my own way.... Something catches my eye....

But, part of trusting is knowing that God is the LEADER and I am the FOLLOWER. Jesus said, "Follow ME."

Lord, may I always remember that YOU are the Leader and I the follower. I thank You for Your patience when I run out ahead of You. I thank You that You draw me back, pull me close and lead me in the right direction agian. May I always hold tightly to YOUR hand! I love You, Lord! In Jesus' Name I pray. Amen.