Have you seen the homeless?

Have you seen the homeless?

No, I mean SEEN them?

Have you looked into their eyes?

Smiled?

Said "hello"?

Or....

do you look the other way?

Pretend not to see them?

Busy yourself in a conversation?

My husband and I just returned from a trip to San Diego. We had a wonderful time, just the two of us. I had been looking forward to spending some time alone while he attended work meetings. So…..on the first morning of our trip, I went out for a run and to explore the downtown a bit. What I saw surprised and appalled me.
People waking up and beginning their day…..
from a park bench…..
from a makeshift cardboard “tent”….
Now, I am not a stranger to homeless people. We frequently visit Chicago and are familiar with “street people.” But, somehow, seeing them during this trip affected me like never before. Maybe it was the sheer quantity I saw. There were both men and women. I saw every race- white, black, and Asian among the hurting. I saw both young and old. The image of a tall, beautiful woman looking at her reflection in a glass building as she cleaned her face with her hands and saliva will be etched in my mind forever. What struck me, and broke my heart was that all of the people carried something. Some, like the man above, carried grocery bags full of their belongings. Others had black garbage bags stuffed with their life’s possessions. And, some pushed around carts or luggage full of their “stuff.”


I couldn’t even fathom being able to fit all of my belongings- my life- into a cart that I pushed around all day. What unnerved me was witnessing people, human beings rummage through garbage cans looking for food…..
My heart broke for the people I saw that morning. But, the tipping point came when I stopped at Starbuck’s for a tea before heading back to the hotel. As I waited in line, holding back tears and silently praying, a very thin man, about my age, ran in the store, pulled out a discarded half eaten muffin out of the garbage, ran out of the store and ate it. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. The first thing I did was buy the man a breakfast sandwich and gave it to him.
When I got back to my room, I wept and prayed. I knew I had to do more than just buy someone a sandwich.
I have been reading a life-changing book, Not a Fan. It is about being a FOLLOWER of Jesus, not just a “FAN”- living out a life of faith instead of just talking about it. The book challenges us, as Believers to die to self and live for Christ, following Him wherever He would take us. As I cried out to God that morning, I told Him I wanted to LIVE what I was reading- I wanted it to make a difference in my life! I couldn’t go have a manicure or lie by the pool- I had to live out my faith and DO SOMETHING!
As I prayed in the shower, a thought came to me to spend my day with the homeless.
So, I went to Subway and bought a small stack of gift cards. After praying about what to write in each one, I filled them with messages of hope and love, telling the person reading how much God loves them and how precious they are. On some, I felt led to tell them that God knows their name.
I went back to Starbuck’s, found a table outside and prayed that God would bring people to me and that He would give me strength to do this thing that was REALLY out of my comfort zone. Fear gripped me. What if someone would get violent or yell at me? What if someone started calling me a hypocrite or self-righteous or something? What if I was embarrassed? I couldn’t believe my fears! Here were people rooting through garbage and I WAS WORRIED ABOUT BEING EMBARRASSED????????
I was surprised at how nervous I was. My heart raced. My hands were shaking. I knew I needed to just DO IT. So, when a man approached a garbage can to go through it, I approached him and gave him the card, telling him what it was. He looked shocked, but took it. The next man who approached the garbage had a different reaction, though. He refused to take it. His sad eyes broke my heart as he said, “I can’t go in to Subway like this. Look at me.” And he walked away.
Many discouraging thoughts ran through my mind and most encouraged me to quit.
“What are you doing?”
“You are insulting them.”
“You can’t make a difference.”
But, I continued and my stack got smaller. I finished with the last group of four people all sitting against a building together. When I gave them the last of my cards, they were joyful and kept saying “God bless you.” Here is one of the men.

I am ashamed to say I have forgotten this man’s name. I asked him his name and it was like I gave him a million dollars just asking that. He got tears in his eyes when he told me it.
I may have forgotten, but God knows his name.
“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows…” James 1:27
“Is this not the kind of fasting I have chosen: to loose the cords of unjustice and untie the cords of the yoke, to set the oppressed free and break every yoke? Is it not to share your food with the hungry and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter- when you see the naked, to clothe him, and not turn away from your own flesh and blood?” Isaiah 58:6-7
Lord, may I die daily to myself and follow You wherever You would lead. May I see people the way You see people. Break my heart with what breaks Your heart. Give me strength and courage to do the things that are uncomfortable. I love You, Lord. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
“Fasting” with you,
Tracy

I wish you were the BEST Mommy!

"I wish you were the best mommy."

Ouch. Those words can sting- especially when you are in the middle of a crowded video store. What would bring such exasperated words from a four-year-old?

"Mommy, can I have cotton candy?"

No, honey.

"Can I rent THIS movie?"

No, not tonight.

"An ice cream sandwich would make me feel better. Can I have ice cream?"

No. It's too close to bedtime.

"I wish you were the BEST mommy."

Oh, how familiar those words sound to my heart.

"Lord, can I have this?"

No, Tracy. Not this time.

"Lord, can I do this?"

No, Tracy, it is not the right timing.

"Lord, if You just allowed THIS- I would feel better!"

No, Tracy.

Sigh......Lord, I wish YOU were the "BEST Daddy."

In other words, I wish You would let me have my way! I wish You would say "yes" to the things I want! I want what I WANT!

Do you ever feel like that four-year-old?

I know in my mind what the Truth is- "God's ways are not my ways" (Isaiah 55:8-9). I also know Matthew 7:11. "If you then, evil as you are, know how to give and advantageous gifts to your children, how much more will your Father Who is in heaven (perfect as He is) give good and advantageous things to those who keep on asking Him." AMP

And yet.....

I can become focused on MY way. I can be stubborn, immature, and self-centered. I can lose sight of the fact that God is Sovereign. He is good. He answers prayer. HE knows what is best for me.

Cotton candy, although tasty is not good for me- especially at 7 PM. "THAT" movie would not be appropriate for my little eyes. And....alas....ice cream is wonderful, but I will not always be allowed to have it- especially right before bed when I have a difficult time going to sleep anyway! Because I love my daughter, I say no at times. Our Father in Heaven, who loves us infinitely more than we could ever love anyone, loves us too much to always say "yes."

We have to remember, God always, always "answers our prayers," but not always the way we want or understand. Sometimes, when God answers, the answer is “No.” Sometimes the answer is “not yet.” And it may not seem “right” or fair to us. We have to remember two important things- God’s ways are not our ways and God’s timing is not our timing. But, God’s ways are perfect and His timing is perfect. We can’t see things the way God can. God has your WHOLE life planned, not just this season of it. Remember, life on earth is just a snapshot of our eternal life. God sees the end from the beginning.

God is your FATHER. He has a plan for you. He knit you together in your mother’s womb. He created you. He has counted the number of hairs on your head. He takes care of you, better than you ever could. Again, He knows what is best for you, or how you will grow from your life experiences. He can see “the big picture of your life.”

So, although we may not always get "the cotton candy," we can be assured that our Father loves us so much and ALWAYS does what is best for us.

"The Lord your God is with you. He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you. He will quiet you with His love. He will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

And, as a mother, I have to make the hard choices that don't always make me the most "popular" with my children. I have to "do the hard thing" of telling them "no", even when my daughter tells the whole video store that I'm not the "best Mommy"!

Father, thank You for loving me so much. Lord, thank You that You sometimes say "no." Thank You that You are the best parent I could ever have. I love You, Lord. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Lessons from a cell phone!

Life’s lessons…..

I believe God is always teaching us in the busyness of “everyday life.” He is teaching us during all the schedules and running and relationships we encounter.

The question is, will we listen?

I love when we read how Jesus taught the people through parables of things of which they were familiar….reaping and sowing to farmers, catching people to fisherman and child-like faith to mothers. Jesus would teach principles in ways people could understand, relating to their everyday lives.

He does this today as well!

The Holy Spirit is always teaching, leading and guiding us if we will be still before Him and listen.

My son recently learned a hard lesson in obedience.

Even though he was told he was not allowed to text on his cell phone, (yes, we have an archaic plan WITHOUT free texting) he went ahead and did anyway- to the tune of $5oo!

Our son hadn’t believed us when we told him he couldn’t text. We told him text messaging was too expensive. He didn’t really think texting was that expensive. He saw his friends doing it and figured that mom and dad didn’t really know what they were talking about.

The same is true for me! Often, I choose to obey/disobey God based on my belief. Do I really trust Him in this area….on this issue….or do I think that I know better than Him? Of course, I would never SAY that out loud, but my actions may prove that I really don’t believe God knows best for me in a situation.

Our son fell into temptation and peer pressure. “All” of his friends text and many of them sent him text messages. He said the first few times he ignored the messages. But, then, he thought he would answer “just this one” and soon, before he knew it, he was full-fledged texting.

Temptation works exactly that way. How many times have I said, “just this once” and before I knew it I had entered into full-fledged bondage? How many times do I think, “All of my friends are doing this….how ‘bad’ could it really be?”

And, it also shows me that teenage “peer pressure” doesn’t have to be just the “big” sins of drugs and alcohol, but peer pressure can more easily tempt kids into “smaller” sins, sins that they don’t think are really that “bad.”

The same is true for me. I may not be tempted into a “big” sin like pornography, but peer pressure may lure me into sin that may be perceived as “not that bad.” Things like complaining or gossiping or “little white lies” or watching programs on TV that I know are offensive to God.

But SIN is SIN….”big” or “small” and what it comes down to is this: God is God and I trust Him, and because I believe Him, I will obey Him.

What we don’t always think about though, is that ALL sin, “big” or “small” has consequences!

And, boy, were there consequences for a $500 phone bill!!!!!!!

Our forgiveness of our son’s behavior was immediate and unconditional. He did not have to DO anything to be forgiven. He did not have to earn it. Grace is unconditional- unmerited favor. What he did does not change my love for him in the least bit! I love him and forgive him. But, in the consequences of what he did, he has had to DO some things!

The same is true for us and God. When we sin, we don’t EARN forgiveness- God gives it freely and unconditionally. His love for us is unchanging. But, there are always consequences for our sin. Even though we forgave our son, he has lost his phone and is doing MANUAL LABOR earning back the $500. The same is true for us, even though God forgives us, there are always consequences for our sin.

I am thankful that our son has learned this valuable life lesson! As parents, we pray that he will always be “caught” when he sins so that we can teach him through it. I pray the same for ME! I don’t want to walk down a wrong path. I want God to show me when I am being disobedient!

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Psalm 139:23-24

I will obey....later!

Do you ever struggle with obedience?????

When you know God is calling you to do something (or to NOT do something)....how do you react?

Mmm.....

Obedience can be a bit like parking. Parking?????

Now that I have your attention, come on over to the Cafe to hear more!

I'm writing at the Internet Cafe today and would love for you to join me there.

In Other Words

Thank you, Miriam at Miriam Pauline’s Monologue for hosting this weeks, In Other Words. She asks us to ponder:

“God does not speak simply to be heard. He speaks to be obeyed. Obedience is the Alpha and Omega of discerning God’s voice.”

by Priscilla Shirer

I love the beginning of this quote- God doesn't simply speak to be heard, but to be obeyed!

As a mom, I know exactly the meaning of this! I want my kids not just to hear me, but to OBEY me. In fact, I just said something similar to my Ashley (10) this morning. She didn't obey a command I had given her. She said, "Oh, I didn't hear you, Mom," but I knew she had heard me. So I said, "You heard me, Ashley, you just choose not to 'listen' to me...you disobeyed!"

I am also teaching my children that I am not speaking just to talk, but that I have REASONS why I am saying things. They have learned the "hard way" that Mom says to do something for a reason- a reason of love- not just to be "mean." And, when they choose to ignore my commands there are consequences....sometimes natural consequences, sometimes consequences from Brian and I.

God is like that as well.

He gives us commands for a reason....not to be mean, but because He knows what is best for us. And....we can choose either to obey or go our own way...

It's been like that from the very beginning! In the garden, God's Word said not to eat the fruit. But Adam and Eve choose to do it their own way and disobeyed God's Word.

Then, all through the Old Testament, we see the Israelites choosing either to obey or disobey. When they disobey, we see God's anger and His consequences (often Him allowing them to be taken into captivity). Proverbs 1:31 comes to mind that says when sinners disobey, they will EAT THE FRUIT of their own ways. Ouch. Hmmm....kind of like the rotten fruit in the Garden....We are still eating the fruit of Eve's mistake!

Like the Israelites, when I choose to disobey God, I will be taken off into captivity.....

I experience the bondage of my own SIN~

See I am setting before you today a blessing and a curse- the blessing if you obey the commands of the LORD your God that I am giving you today; the curse if you disobey the commands of the LORD your God...Deuteronomy 11:26-28

I struggled with the last part of the quote:

Obedience is the alpha and omega (beginning and end) of discerning God's voice.

I'm not sure what the author means by this, so I look forward to reading others' take on it! I didn't have time this week to go to the original writing....

Please take a few minutes and check out what others are saying in their words!

And, please join us today in the first day of our Bible Study,

I'm a Failure!!!!!!!!!

“I am afraid I will fail. I feel like a failure.”

Those words crushed me. I felt so sad when my friend said them. You see, Satan had her trapped, deceiving her. She was afraid to trust God, turn over her life to Him, and walk in obedience. She was afraid that if she did, the outcome of her situation would brand her “FAILURE.” Oh, how I hate the enemy!

But, when we walk in obedience to God, we are NEVER marked a failure. In fact, that is NEVER how God sees us, even when we make mistakes. One time, I had goofed up BIG TIME with our checkbook. I had made a mathematical error and we were overdrawn, like I said, BIG TIME! I just kept writing checks, even though there wasn’t money to cover them (I thought there was). Then, there was a bank fee for every bad check, so the whole kept getting bigger. I was so afraid to go to Brian (my husband) and tell him what I had done. (Like he wasn’t going to find out???) I was scared. I was so afraid of his reaction. And, I was afraid of what we were going to do financially. I felt so stupid. I felt like a failure. My stomach was sick. I cried and cried. But, I had to tell my husband when he returned from work that day. And, I dreaded that!!!!!!!! I spent the day in prayer asking God to help me, to be strong, to be honest…

But, when I told Brian, he wasn’t angry with me. He forgave me immediately. And, I will never forget his reaction. He put his arms around me, told me that everything was going to be OK. He said it was a setback for us, but that we would get through it, and that we just needed to “fix” it. He told me that he wasn’t mad at me and that he loved me. Whew! That was the Holy Spirit working through him! The weight of the world lifted off my shoulders! I felt such a release, such a peace. Now, the circumstances didn’t evaporate- we still had to deal with them! In fact, although Brian was so merciful, he told me we still had to deal with the problem, and that meant that I had to go into the bank, talk with a banker, and get our checkbook straightened out. Uhhhh!!!! Again, I had to deal with the temptation of feeling like a failure, an “idiot” (that was the word in my head!). But, that condemnation was NOT coming from God! Again, I went to the prayer closet, asking God to help me. God reminded me that I had been forgiven, but that I couldn’t just “forget about it.” I had to deal with my situation, walk in obedience. Well, I took a deep breath, and went into the bank. I remember that the banker was so nice. He helped me find the error and even reversed the bank fees!!!! (Mercy!) I felt so much better taking care of it. (There were several meals of hot dogs and mac and cheese, but we got “back on our feet” again in a couple of weeks!)

But, here is the thing, the enemy wants to keep us down- defeated, feeling like a failure, feeling like an idiot. Sometimes, instead of looking to God and walking in obedience, we live in fear, not trusting God that His way is perfect (even though there may be a few meals of mac and cheese, so to speak!). Obedience may not mean “painless,” but there is such joy and PEACE in obedience!

Our God loves us so much. He is NOT standing over our shoulder saying, “You’re an idiot, a failure!” He is not condemning us! (There is NO condemnation for those in Christ Jesus- Romans 8:1) But, He says, (like Brian did in my situation!) “We need to fix this.” He is not going to allow us to continue going down the wrong path! What if I would have just kept spending money that wasn’t in our account????? He loves us so much. He does not want us to be miserable!!! Jesus came so that we may have ABUNDANT life! (John 10:10) His way is so much better. He’s not going to let us continue to go down that wrong path BECAUSE He loves, because He wants His best for us. It’s not because He thinks I am a failure, but because His heart breaks when my heart breaks. He wants me to live the best life possible- His life. So…….. I need to trust Him. I need to lay aside all of my foolish excuses for not obeying. I need to surrender to His will and to His ways. (Romans 12:1- offer my body as a living sacrifice!) NOT BECAUSE GOD IS A “MEANIE” (as Aaron, 4, will sometimes say!) It is because God is rich in mercy and love, slow to anger and quick to forgive. Praise You, God! Hallelujah!!!!

Father God, I praise You! You are glorious! You are perfect! You are good. Thank You for Your mercy and love. Thank You that You have good plans for me. Thank You that You see the end from the beginning and You know all things. Even when I can’t see the way, You know. Lord, I purpose in my heart to trust You. I purpose to obey You, no matter how uncomfortable it may be. Praise You, God! Praise You! In Jesus’ Name we pray. Amen!

OUCH! Will it hurt??????????

When I finished yesterday's blog, I went up to the shower to get ready for church. I love to pray in the shower. I had written about the "merchants" from Psalm 107 and was praying about what I had written/read/pondered on. I began to pray, "Lord, I want to walk in what I just wrote. I want to be humble, not rebellious. Lord, I want to submit to Your will and be obedient....." Along those lines.... When I stopped myself. Yikes! What had I just prayed?????? (See previous blogs "Will I Walk in It- Parts 1 and 2). Hadn't I just gone through this same thing several days ago? If I pray to "walk in it," God will give me opportunities to walk in it, and that might hurt! It may be uncomfortable, and I don't want discomfort- I want gentle, easy..... Obedience may be painful. God may ask me to do something that I don't want to do, or to stop doing something I like doing. (I know- I am very immature! I get mad at myself at times! Bear with me, though, as God doesn't leave me here)

God spoke to my heart, "Stop. Those are lies from the enemy!" You, see, Satan wants us to believe that obedience to God will hurt. Think about the garden!!!!! Adam and Eve had paradise. They were walking with God (literally!) and had everything they could desire. But, God had required their obedience. He said, "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat of it, you will surely die." Like my friend said once, God did not want them to even have the knowledge of evil. As parents, we tell them "no" to things for their safety. Sometimes we don't go in to "details." Think of child molestors. I don't want my children to even have the knowledge of the depths of evil. I don't want them to even know how (and the details) these people could hurt them. I tell them not to talk to strangers- in person, on the internet, on the phone, because I do not want them to ever experience this evil. God did not want His precious children to have the knowldege of evil, to "know all the details," so He told them not to eat it.

Here we go, the enemy right here deceived them into thinking obedience "would hurt," that obedience wasn't good. He tells them if they eat it, "their eyes will be opened and they will be like God." Eve thought her way was better than God's way. We sometimes believe that when we obey, it may not be good for us, it may "hurt." I think, "Well, if I obey, it may be against my desires. I may have to "give up" my desires." Oh God, if my desires are against Yours, change my desires!!!!!!!! That is where I get "stuck" sometimes. You see, God is good. His desires for me are perfect. Maybe even my desires are good, but they are not God's best for me. He calls me into obedience because He loves me. He wants the best for me. His ways, His plans are perfect. The enemy tries to deceive me into having the attitude, "God is holding back on you. He just doesn't want you to have this. If you obey Him, you'll have to give up the desires of your heart...."

Replace the lies with Truth!

God loves me! (John 3:16, Zephaniah 3:17,)
I am precious to Him! (Isaiah 43:4)
He gives me the desires of my heart! (Psalm 37:4)
He has good plans for me! (Jeremiah 29:11)
There is joy in obedience (all of Paul's letters in the New Testament!)

Father God, I praise You! I love You! You are so good! Thank You for loving me so much. Thank You that Your ways are perfect and Your plans are good. Please forgive my attitude of thinking that obedience might be painful. You are a good God. You are not "holding back on me," but at times protecting me, at times giving me something better than what I want. Lord, help me to always trust You. I do want to walk in humility, not rebellion. I want to walk in obedience. Lord, if my desires don't line up with yours in an area, then change my desires! Make my desires Your desires. I love You, Lord! In Jesus' Name I pray. Amen.

Blessings to you all this fine Monday morning!