Cafe Chat....with an HONEST friend!

I love the topic that Kim has chatting about today! It is about AUTHENTIC friendships, and boy do we need them as Christians! We need friends who will be honest with us and help keep us accountable.

Proverbs 27:6
Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.

Kim says, "So today, I ask you to share a time when a friend may have wounded you by speaking hard words to you, and even though you were hurt you realized it was the best and most loving thing he/she could have done. (If you can share the specifics that would be great, but if not feel free to use generalities). "

I have one friend, Donna (my spiritual "mama") who will ALWAYS be honest with me! I call her because I WANT a friend to be honest. I have many friends that I could call when I want to whine and hear them say, "Poor Tracy." But not Donna.... She will tell me I need to apologize to Brian. She will tell me that I can't wallow in self-pity. She knows the Word and doesn't "tickle my ears", telling me what I would LIKE to hear! We need to be AUTHENTIC in friendships. I wrote about authenticity here and here. I wrote about Donna here.

What I would like to chat about though, is a time when God called ME to tell something to a friend that I didn't want to! I am not a person who easily tells people when they are doing something wrong (except for my hubby- OOPS! That would be another post!). I don't like conflict. Don't like debate. Don't like to argue. I certainly don't feel comfortable bringing up something UNCOMFORTABLE!

But sometimes God calls us to do just this! With Donna, we have an open agreement to tell each other these things. And usually, I am coming TO HER, asking her to help me through it. For instance, I already know that my heart is being selfish....I need to talk through it/pray about it. But, there are times God will call us to confront our sisters (or brothers) in Christ, "wounding them with sincere words." (Proverbs verse). Also see 1Corinthians 4 and 5.

I have a friend who had a baby out of wedlock and lives off/on with her boyfriend. We are close and she is a Christian. Right after she had her baby, God began laying on my heart to talk to her. I knew she knew that she was living in a sinful relationship. It was becoming hard to be around her because we weren't talking about it. It was like "the elephant in the room." It was like were just ignoring the obvious.

So, God, being relentless, not letting me stick my head in the sand, make sure I had NO PEACE until I "dealt with it."

So, after much PRAYER, I invited my friend over for lunch. Through tears, I shared with her how God laid this on my heart. I shared that God wanted so much more for living together wasn't God's plan. We talked about sin. All these things she already "knew". We both CRIED and CRIED. I talked to her IN LOVE.

And, it made our friendship even stronger! She knew I cared about her enough to do something hard, even risking our friendship, for her greater good. I truly cared about HER. She knows that I will talk straight with her. There is no longer an uncomfortable "elephant in the room."

Please visit the Cafe to chat about friendships and loving our friends enough to be honest with them!

4 thoughts shared....:

Toknowhim said...

Good point... I might agree that it is harder for me to be the one sharing the "hard words" than receiving them. I do love that God will keep putting things on our hearts so that we finally do what we need to do :)

Blessings Tracy :) Kim

Beth in NC said...

Hi Tracy,

True friends are hard to find.

We are blessed!


Miss Charlene said...

Oh! That is brave! I struggle with the same thing as you do. I hate to hurt anyone's feelings and would even ignore the elephant in the room. Just two weeks ago, I got the chance to tell my long time friend that she should marry the man she has been living with for five years. I cringed waiting for a bad reaction or to see if I had hurt her, but she told me that she needed to hear that. A week later, she told me they had decided to get married!! PTL! Truth hurts, but when it's out of love, it's what is needed.

Denise said...

Awesome my friend.