Cafe Chat......What if they don't think like ME?

I am so glad you joined us for a chat today at the Internet Cafe! The topic is not a light one, but a very thought-provoking question.

Today at the Cafe, Kim asks us:

When it comes to an issue or truth that you believe in, maybe even feel like God revealed that truth to you; how do you respond to another Christian that might have the opposite view from you? Do you feel like the way you respond lines up with how God would want you to respond?

First of all, God ALWAYS wants me to respond in love.

This question is a little "tricky" because how I respond will definitely depend on if this is truth that God has revealed to me personally, or the Truth AND how God CALLS me to respond. There may be things in my own personal walk that God has spoken to my heart. But, that doesn't mean that He is teaching everyone (my friends, my husband, my small group members) the same truth at the same time.

Here's an example. Several years ago, when I was just beginning my walk with the Lord, He placed on my heart to throw away all of my Halloween decorations. I had several "cute" ghosts, witches, etc. I had a desire and conviction to GET RID of everything that represented Halloween. For me, (and this is where we have to be careful. I don't want anyone reading this post to feel condemned if God hasn't laid on your heart the same convictions!) I couldn't stand any Halloween decorations to be in my home- no matter how "cute"! I filled a whole garbage can with decorations.

Now, here is the thing.....I know several Christians who do "celebrate" Halloween and put up witches, ghosts, Frankenstein, etc. God may not have placed on THEIR hearts to toss all of the decorations. I am not to condemn them and tell them all to throw away their decorations. I AM NOT THE HOLY SPIRIT! But, I do share openly with my friends what God has shown ME about it.

Here's another one. There are several TV shows I would not watch because they are not glorifying to God. If I would watch them, the Holy Spirit convicts me and I feel uncomfortable. But, that doesn't mean that I go to my friends and tell them to stop watching their favorite TV shows. I DO openly and honestly share what God is teaching ME and the struggles I may have with obeying. I share how the Spirit is led me and taught me, and allow the Holy Spirit to do the convicting.

God has taught me a truth that I need to get up and spend time with Him daily first thing in the morning. I don't "impose" this truth on others. Again, I share with them my personal experience of needing the Lord's presence and guidance first thing. I share with them that I need to fill up on Him before I try to go about my day, otherwise I find myself depending on my own strength and not Him. But, I can't force this truth on others. I share my own experience, but the desire and truth has to come from the Holy Spirit.

Diet Coke. I used to be addicted and drank several cans a day. God spent a lot of time teaching me about my body being the temple for the Holy Spirit and that DC was horrible for it. God has convicted ME of not drinking it. Although now I drink it in once in awhile, FOR ME, going back to a lifestyle of having it daily would be sin.

So, it is IMPORTANT to SHARE what God is teaching you personally, but don't be judgemental and condemning. I have learned the hard way that only God can do the work of the Holy Spirit.

But, there is a difference between what truths God is teaching you personally and THE Truth. I believe we need to be honest with one another with His Truth and sin.

For example, if a friend would start gossiping about someone on the phone with me, I would stop the conversation and say something like, "I'm sorry. I don't feel comfortable with this. I have struggled with gossip and need to be careful not to engage in it. I don't like to talk about someone when they aren't here."

Now, I am a chicken in person. I can think of two times I walked into a group who was gossiping. I excused myself and walked away immediately without participating, but didn't say anything. I didn't say, "hey guys, this is wrong. We shouldn't talk about someone like that. It's gossip."

And, for me, it's much easier to be honest and authentic in a small group. We are all there to grow in our maturity in the Lord. Our hearts WANT to turn from sin, to walk closer to the Lord, to press in. So, speaking the Truth in love is "welcomed."

But, there are times in life when God WILL call you to sit down with someone, IN LOVE, and confront them about a sin.

God has called me to confront a friend about her sin, BUT, HE INITIATED IT!!!! He opened the door for the conversation. He placed on my heart such a strong command to talk to her that when I stalled, trying to avoid it, I had such a sense of unrest, no peace. I knew without a doubt that God was commanding me to talk to her.

I have a friend that is caught in a sexual sin. God placed on my heart to sit with her and confront her lovingly, sharing with her that this sin was not God's best for her and that it hurt Him deeply that she would walk in disobedience. I knew it could only be God because we had an incredible, loving conversation full of tears (from both of us). The conversation brought us closer together as friends. Her sin, which was out in the open but never discussed had become "the elephant in the room." After our conversation, we can openly talk about. And, she knows that I care about her enough to bring up uncomfortable things BECAUSE I love her.

My hairdresser, on the other hand, is a different example. He is homosexual. I have known him for 8 years and God has NOT placed on my heart to confront him. Instead, I pray for him and LOVE him. I share with him personal stories of my own convictions and battles. He asks many questions. I wait for a time when GOD OPENS THE DOOR to talk to him about it.

Wow, I know this is a long post....didn't mean to ramble and I don't know if I even answered the question! LOL! These were the thoughts that came to my mind....

I guess one last thing. Kim asked us how we respond to people with the opposite view of us with truths God has spoken to us.

Again, I believe we need to be honest, but NOT try to be the Holy Spirit. I think politics is a good example.

God has laid on my heart that I can NOT vote for a politician who is pro-choice. Period. No discussions. I also care if the politician would support gay marriage. I would not vote for him. God has revealed to ME personally these truths and I am passionate about my political beliefs. But, I have had conversations with other Christians who do believe the OPPOSITE. They voted and were concerned with economic issues. And, although we had conversations where I prayed over the conversation, gave bible references, and shared what God has taught me, they didn't change their beliefs. They voted the same. These conversations were difficult. And, I have to admit I couldn't believe they thought differently than ME! (I tend to need to be "right", especially when I know God has taught me things).

I had to be intentional in NOT allowing these conversations to taint my love for this person. I dreaded seeing another email in my inbox from her. I would have liked to avoid responding. AND, I needed to pray over each word of my responses, making sure God was directing my words. I had to be aware and alert and not allow strife to enter in my heart. When I saw here at church at Christmas, a fleeting negative feeling came over me. But, I pushed it away, hugged her genuinely and tightly and wished her "Merry Christmas." In that instance, all negative feelings vanished I did feel love towards her. Through it all, the words I heard at a Joyce Meyer conference in September kept rolling through my mind: "We are not responsible for anyone else's vote. In the end, we are only responsible for our own."

Please stop over at the Cafe and join our chat!

Cafe Chat...talking about my Daddy!

If you have never heard of "the chat" before, it is a great time to ponder some questions about our AWESOME God, then "chat" about them. This meme used to be at the Internet Cafe on Saturdays, but recently moved to Thursday. I love this meme! If you want to read past chats that I participated in, simply search "cafe chat" to find other posts with that tag. Then, head over to the Cafe to read more posts of chatty women! Kim Uden from "Knowing Him" asks the great questions.

Today she has us ponder John 20:17 (NIV)

Jesus said, "Do not hold on to me, for I have not yet returned to the Father. Go instead to my brothers and tell them, 'I am returning to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.' "

Kim asked us to focus on the last part of the verse where Jesus now calls God OUR Father, OUR God. I had never pondered/focused on this part of the verse. She asks:

So today, I ask you what does it mean that you are able to call God your Father? Really think about this one, and then just let your words flow from your heart...

For me, this is awesome and amazing. I never experienced true love from an earthly father, so I have always latched on to the fact that GOD is my Father. It filled an empty place for me.

I know a sweet sister who really struggles with the name "Father" for God because she struggled with her own father. For her, "father" didn't equate to love.

Earthly fathers are HUMAN. They will make mistakes. There will be times, no matter how wonderful they are, that they will let us down.

But, God is NOT like an earthly father. God will never let us down. God never lies. God is always good. God never leaves us. God takes care of us. God has in store for us a glorious inheritance to come. God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He doesn't change. He is slow to anger and rich in mercy. He is compassionate. He is long-suffering. His love never fails.

He IS love.

Even as a little girl, I loved the fact that God is my Father.

He is my "Abba", my daddy that I never had here on earth.

I imagine myself climbing in His lap as He strokes my hair.

He is someone I can cry out to when I am lost....when I am angry.....when I am scared.

He is my strong tower. My protection. My Rock.

Because of what Jesus did, I now have a RELATIONSHIP with God.

The Pharisees had a RELIGION full of rules, self-righteousness.....

They missed the fact that God, the Creator of the Universe, wants a personal, intimate, LIVING, BREATHING RELATIONSHIP with each and every one of His children.

I want to BREATHE in more and more of God. I want more of Him and LESS of me. I want to walk in His presence continuously. I want to be filled with Him MORE and MORE.

God has done everything that is needed. Through Jesus' death and RESURRECTION we have been fully restored into a right relationship with God.

Father God, thank You for being my Father. Thank You for being my God. I love You. I want You. I ask that You invade my every fiber and being. I want to be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Help me today to be a Light shining for You. Help me to share You with a world who is hurting for a Father. In the sweet, precious name of Jesus I pray. Amen!

Don't forget to head over to the Cafe for more great Cafe Chat!

Cafe Chat....with an HONEST friend!

I love the topic that Kim has chatting about today! It is about AUTHENTIC friendships, and boy do we need them as Christians! We need friends who will be honest with us and help keep us accountable.

Proverbs 27:6

Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.

Kim says, "So today, I ask you to share a time when a friend may have wounded you by speaking hard words to you, and even though you were hurt you realized it was the best and most loving thing he/she could have done. (If you can share the specifics that would be great, but if not feel free to use generalities). "

I have one friend, Donna (my spiritual "mama") who will ALWAYS be honest with me! I call her because I WANT a friend to be honest. I have many friends that I could call when I want to whine and hear them say, "Poor Tracy." But not Donna.... She will tell me I need to apologize to Brian. She will tell me that I can't wallow in self-pity. She knows the Word and doesn't "tickle my ears", telling me what I would LIKE to hear! We need to be AUTHENTIC in friendships. I wrote about authenticity here and here. I wrote about Donna here.

What I would like to chat about though, is a time when God called ME to tell something to a friend that I didn't want to! I am not a person who easily tells people when they are doing something wrong (except for my hubby- OOPS! That would be another post!). I don't like conflict. Don't like debate. Don't like to argue. I certainly don't feel comfortable bringing up something UNCOMFORTABLE!

But sometimes God calls us to do just this! With Donna, we have an open agreement to tell each other these things. And usually, I am coming TO HER, asking her to help me through it. For instance, I already know that my heart is being selfish....I need to talk through it/pray about it. But, there are times God will call us to confront our sisters (or brothers) in Christ, "wounding them with sincere words." (Proverbs verse). Also see 1Corinthians 4 and 5.

I have a friend who had a baby out of wedlock and lives off/on with her boyfriend. We are close and she is a Christian. Right after she had her baby, God began laying on my heart to talk to her. I knew she knew that she was living in a sinful relationship. It was becoming hard to be around her because we weren't talking about it. It was like "the elephant in the room." It was like were just ignoring the obvious.

So, God, being relentless, not letting me stick my head in the sand, make sure I had NO PEACE until I "dealt with it."

So, after much PRAYER, I invited my friend over for lunch. Through tears, I shared with her how God laid this on my heart. I shared that God wanted so much more for her....how living together wasn't God's plan. We talked about sin. All these things she already "knew". We both CRIED and CRIED. I talked to her IN LOVE.

And, it made our friendship even stronger! She knew I cared about her enough to do something hard, even risking our friendship, for her greater good. I truly cared about HER. She knows that I will talk straight with her. There is no longer an uncomfortable "elephant in the room."

Please visit the Cafe to chat about friendships and loving our friends enough to be honest with them!

Cafe Chat

After looking at the verse in Galatians, what specific “fruit” (love, joy, peace…) do you find yourself lacking in your daily life?
Give an example if you can.What circumstance in your life shows your weakness with the specific “fruit” you mentioned above.

Welcome back to Cafe Chat. I enjoy participating each Saturday. Sometimes I struggle with beginning my day in the Word on the weekend, so the Chat has me pondering verses and how I live them out in my daily life.


Kim shares with us, "This week’s question is meant for me as much as for all of you. Recently, I feel like I have come to a place where I see that through all my life’s circumstances, especially the tough ones I have an opportunity to become more like Christ. Through my life circumstances, I get to practice dying to a very "selfish" self. To think of others more than I think about myself. To practice self denial when my flesh cries out to indulge. To show love when I don't feel at all loving. I could keep going with my "to" list, but I will stop here, and leave you with one final thought. If you are at all like me, or maybe even a little like me; I want to challenge you to see whatever "life circumstance" you named above as a great and wonderful opportunity to become more like HIM, our sweet and lovely Jesus."

Oh, how I echo Kim's "dying to a selfish self"! This is such a daily challenge for me....to keep my mouth CLOSED and not say that biting comment, to think of others' needs above my own, to restrain myself from going to worldly pursuits (i.e. IDOLS!) instead of the Lord when I am feeling overwhelmed (usually food, but could be shopping, or spending too much time on the computer). I love the other day when Joyce Meyer said something like, "you need to first take authority over a sink full of dirty dishes before you worry about having a worldwide ministry." Her point was that sometimes we avoid the "menial"tasks of taking care of our home because we are busy doing the "spiritual" things- serving, bible study, (blogging- OUCH). But, all areas of our lives are "spiritual". God doesn't want us to neglect our own families in the name of serving Him. I love Brother Lawrence who strived to live every moment in God's presence- "practicing the Presence of God while peeling potatoes"!

I love Paul's letters. He continually teaches us the difference between living in the flesh vs. living in the spirit. When we are walking in the Spirit, keeping in step with Him, there will be FRUIT in our lives.

Galatians 5:16 says, "But I say, walk and live habitually in the Holy Spirit [responsive to and controlled and guided by the Spirit]; THEN you will certainly not gratify the cravings and desires of the flesh (of human nature without God)." AMP

Well, what are the desires of my "flesh"? (By the way....WHAT is my '"flesh"?? That simply means my body, my personality, my mind, the human-ness of me.) What are the CRAVINGS and DESIRES of my flesh?

"The sinful nature (the flesh) does not want what the spirit delights in. And the Spirit does not want the sinful nature delights in. The two are at war with each other. That's what makes you do what you don't want to do." verse 17 from the Adventure Bible

They are at WAR! And, sometimes, I FEEL like a casualty of that war! It can at times be painful!

What does my flesh "naturally" gravitate towards?

idolatry (putting other "things" before God)

enmity, strife

jealousy, envy (ouch)

anger (ill temper)

selfishness (ouch, ouch)

divisions, dissensions

party spirit..drunkenness, carousing

But the fruit of the Holy Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy, gladness, peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness, gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence).

Love

...loving someone when I don't "feel" like it....forgiving....loving those who don't "deserve" my love....loving my neighbor....loving my enemies.

Joy

...being joyful always, even in the midst of suffering and trials....

Peace

...experiencing the peace that passes all understanding during hard circumstances BECAUSE I have put my trust in the Lord.

Patience

...not losing my temper, even when everything is going WRONG...even when kids are NOT LISTENING....bearing with others' faults...extending grace and mercy.

Kindness

...looking for ways to be kind to others....not thinking of MYSELF, but of others.

Goodness

...do I look for ways to bless others....performing charitable acts...random acts of kindness.

Faithfulness

...trusting God, even when it is hard.

Gentleness

...being humble, sweet, soft, meek (power under control).

Self-Control

...not "flying off the handle", doing whatever "feels" good...taking my time to consult with God...to follow His leading.

I like to continue reading in Galatians because Paul continues this "theme" of gardening in 6:7-9. It says we "reap what we sow." If I sow to the flesh, "I will reap decay, ruin, and destruction." But, if I sow to the Spirit, "I will reap LIFE".

Oh, how the Adventure Bible puts it so simply, "Some people plant to please their sinful nature. From that nature they will harvest death. Others plant to please the Holy Spirit. From the Spirit they will harvest eternal life."

When I allow the Holy Spirit to lead me, guide me (when I YIELD to the Spirit!), then His FRUIT spills out of me! The seed is already in there! When I yield to the spirit, the seed is watered. With every choice I make, I can nourish that seed so that it grows, flourishes, and NOURISHES those around me. When I choose to KILL that flesh, (not eat out of frustration, not yell at my kids when I am angry, keep my mouth closed and not say those critical comments, give to others even if I am tired, do the laundry cheerfully, generously put others' needs before my own, smile at the short-tempered check-out clerk, forgive my husband when he has been short-tempered with me, extend grace to the child who least deserves it, NOT gossip, pray for those who are mean to me....) and instead WALK IN THE SPIRIT, the fruit grows and is displayed in my life.

Father God, help me to choose to sow in the Spirit and not the flesh! Help me to be sensitive to Your Holy Spirit. Help me to make choices that glorify You. Help me to live for You. In Jesus' Name we pray. Amen.

Thanks, Kim for continuing to challenge us. Please visit the Cafe today for a list of other chatters sharing about the fruit of the Spirit!

Cafe Chat....and FREEDOM!

Wow! Kim has us really pondering some LIFE saving "stuff" again this week at the Chat! We are again talking about the area of bondage and freedom....areas unfortunately, (or I guess fortunately for my spiritual growth!) I have MUCH experience with. Feel free to read last week's post and my testimony above to hear about my struggles and God's victory! I went through several years of struggling with bondage and God setting me free....

On my journey to freedom, I spent a lot of time in Romans....especially Romans chapters 6, 7, and 8. In chapter 6, I learned that I am DEAD to sin because of the blood of Jesus Christ. I no longer had to be in bondage to it!

I have been buried in Christ, sin in me has been buried with Him "that I may live a new life."

"The OLD SELF has been crucified with Him so that the body of sin might be done away with, that we should no longer be SLAVES to sin because anyone who has died has been freed from sin." SIN is already defeated!!!!! I must choose to NOT allow it to have power over me! "In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. For sin shall NOT BE your master, because you are not under law, but under grace."

Grace gives us the power to break free from sin! (More on that below). I have "been set free from sin and have become SLAVES to righteousness." I am not in bondage to SIN, but I am bound in righteousness.... "But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves to God (hmmmm), the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life."

Romans Chapter 7 goes on to talk about our struggle with sin. Paul says, "For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." Oh, how I understand this verse!!!!!!

"When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law (my spirit longs, yearns to live in freedom) but I see another law at work...waging war against me (oh, how I know that!).....what a wretched man am I! Who will rescue me from this body of DEATH? Thanks be to God- through Jesus Christ our Lord!"

And, finally, in Chapter 8, we see that there is life (and freedom) in the Spirit! "Therefore there is no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the spirit of life SET ME FREE from the law of sin of death." Paul goes through this chapter teaching us about living in the Spirit (and "where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom."2 Corinthians 3:17) He tells us that the same spirit that raised Jesus from the dead lives in us!!!!! THAT is power!!! Can we get a hold of that??? That power LIVES IN ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Paul goes on to encourage us in WHO WE ARE IN CHRIST.

"If God is for us, who can be against us?" If I have the MOST HIGH GOD fighting my battles, His POWER in ME, then no food, no fear, no temptation, no addiction can have a hold of me!

"I am MORE than a conqueror through Him who loved me!"

MORE THAN A CONQUEROR!

That means I am not a WIMP!

God encouraged me through all of this that HE HAD DONE EVERYTHING that needed to be done. I am already FREE. The blood of Christ HAD ALREADY (past tense) done it. Now, it was up to ME to walk in it!

Awake, awake, O Zion, clothe yourself with strength. (Just as I choose to physically clothe myself, I choose to CLOTHE MYSELF). Put on your garments of splendor. (Christ's blood clothes me in righteousness....in splendor). The uncircumcised and defiled will not enter you again. Shake off your dust; rise up, sit enthroned, O Jerusalem. FREE YOURSELF from the chains on you neck, O captive Daughter of Zion. -Isaiah 52:1-2

How many of us are just sitting around, feeling sorry for ourselves, thinking, "I can't do it. It's too hard. I'm too weak."

Yes, YOU are too weak. But, YOU are NOT depending on YOUR STRENGTH- YOU HAVE THE MOST HIGH AS YOUR GOD...AS YOUR STRENGTH!!!

FREE YOURSELF!

It is for freedom that Christ has set you free. Stand firm, then and DO NOT LET YOURSELVES be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. Galatians 5:1

Christ shed His blood so that we would be FREE...not just in heaven but here on earth!

We must put off this wrong thinking...wrong believing..

"...put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." Ephesians 4:24

If I am created to be like God....I know Jesus was NOT in bondage to anything...He walked in freedom.

God taught me that I had to NAME the lies in my head that were bringing defeat.

You're fat anyway. You've already dug a hole, go ahead and eat. It will make you feel better.

LIE.

You are a failure. You are not good enough.

LIE.

It was not enough to recognize the lies of the enemy, but I had to replace them with TRUTH.

"The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power TO DEMOLISH STRONGHOLDS. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, AND WE TAKE EVERY THOUGHT CAPTIVE TO MAKE IT OBEDIENT TO CHRIST." 2Corinthians 10:5-6

I needed to STOP....recognize the lie....cast it down...and REPLACE it with Truth.

Not only have I battled food and body image, but I have also battled with losing my temper. This is an excerpt from a woman's conference I did on exactly on this topic, FREEDOM IN CHRIST. I pray that it encourages you. Please visit the cafe to chat about this very important topic, walking in FREEDOM! Blessings!

FREEDOM IN CHRIST:

The message heavy on my heart- what I so want all of you to get a hold of is this- grace empowers us.

Faith in Jesus Christ gives us power to walk in freedom as the women God created us to be. We DO NOT have to be addicted to shopping or exercise. We don't’ have to be in bondage to food, alcohol, pleasing others, or anger.

I know that I had come to a point in my life, a point in my faith walk- a point of frustration. I felt like a failure. I did not like who I was as a Christian. I saw myself and I saw who I wanted to be. I read His Word and His promises and I wanted to be what I saw in the Word.

Like 1 Cor., I wanted to be patient and kind, not easily angered, self-seeking or proud. I wanted the fruit of Spirit I read in Galatians- “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” I wanted to be like the woman of 1Peter who was beautiful because of her gentle and quiet spirit. I knew God’s promises and truths, so WHY couldn’t I control myself? I had “quiet times” in the mornings- why weren’t they working?! I felt like, here I am a CHRISTIAN and my family can’t see Christ in me. I felt like the harder I tried, the worse I did.

I’m a mom of 4 children(this was written before Abigail)- ages 2 to 9. I had found myself losing my temper with them and yelling. That made me feel horrible. I felt like such a hypocrite. Here I am this “godly” woman- Bible Study leader, Sunday School teacher- a wonderful, loving person to everyone around- except my family. I found myself getting so angry with my kids and shouting at them at the top of my lungs, but being worried that the neighbors heard me- not what I was doing to my own kids! The worst times were right before school. I was trying to get everyone packed up and ready and out the door on time. But, we were continually leaving later and later, so I would turn into Monster Mom and begin yelling at them to move faster. It would always end up with them crying, me crying, me saying that I was sorry, them saying sorry, lots of hugging and kissing. Then I would come home from dropping them at school, crying, defeated, feeling like a complete failure- I had done it again.

I knew I was wrong. I hated my yelling. I hated myself for doing it. Why couldn’t I control myself? Why couldn’t I tap into God’s power? I felt like a failure as a mom and as a Christian. How many times do we feel like failures as Christian women?

Well, the climax came last winter. I was outside in the driveway shoveling snow. I had just blown it again with the kids. I was crying. It was cold, so my nose was running. It was not a pretty picture! Through my tears, I cried to the Lord, “God, I CAN NOT come to you again with this. I can’t ask you to forgive me AGAIN for this same thing, over and over and over again. You have got to be so sick and tired of hearing the same thing over and over.”

I felt like I needed to get my act together 1st. I needed to clean myself up- be a better mom- THEN I could go to God and ask Him to forgive me. WHOA-did I have it backwards! God spoke to my heart- it was like He ZAPPED me! He said, “Tracy- didn’t I give it all to you already? I gave you my son to die for you to purify you, to cleanse you, to make you as white as this snow! Jesus has done it all already. What more could be done? What sacrifice for sin is left? He cleanses with HIS BLOOD. He died- it was the ultimate sacrifice. There’s nothing more you can do, Tracy. There’s nothing more that CAN be done- I have done it all. And, it is insulting to Me that you think anything you can do could be enough. The blood of Jesus is enough.”

Ephesians 2:8-9 says, “It is by grace you have been saved, through faith- and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- not by works, so that no one can boast.”

It was then that I began to realize I couldn’t do things in my own strength- but I had the power and the strength living within me. I had all the strength I needed- not Tracy’s strength but the strength of the Most High God living within me. God began to show me that I had the power to control my temper- the power of the Holy Spirit.

Ladies, this is the same POWER that raised Jesus from the dead! And at the very point I was tempted to get mad and yell, I heard, and began listening to that still small voice within me saying, “Tracy, calm down. You do not have to get mad. You do not have to lose your temper. It is your choice. Do not choose to do it.”

Now you may thinking, “Oh, Tracy you don’t know me. I don’t have a choice. It just happens. I am just made that way. It’s just my personality.”

Ladies, those are lies from the enemy trying to keep you down. You see, “He who is in me (Jesus) is greater than He who is the world (the evil one, temptation). '’ God's Word says, “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful. He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are being tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”

You see I had to take hold of that power- I couldn’t do it in my own strength- but I could do it through God. God told me that I had to bring Him in to those times of blowing up- to come to Him for help at that point- not afterwards, but during. Ladies, God was telling me that it wasn’t enough to go to church on Sundays, bible study once a week, and have daily quiet times. I needed to cry out to Him in the midst of my trial. I needed to surrender my control over to God, to depend on His power and His might.

I needed to quote the word “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” and “Be slow to speak, slow to anger and quick to listen” and cry out to the Holy Spirit for help in the name of Jesus!

Ladies, where we are weak, He is strong! We have His Holy Spirit within us, empowering us. His word says, “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” 2Tim.1:7 Says, “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, of fawning fear, but a spirit of POWER, love, and self-discipline.” It goes on to say, “Be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus.”

Ladies, there are so many scriptures that point us to the power of God. Peter says, “His divine power has given us everything we need for life.” Ephesians talks about His incomparably great power for US who believe. That power is like the working of His mighty strength.” Colossians says we are ‘being strengthened with all power according to His glorious might so that you may have endurance and patience and joyfully give thanks to the Father.”

But, many times it gets harder before it gets better. And, there is often suffering that takes place while we are being refined. BUT, ladies, it does get easier. Peter says in 1Peter 5:10-11, “And the God of all grace who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, He will himself restore you and make YOU STRONG, firm, and steadfast.” Ladies, we can’t give up. We must persevere. We have to hold on to the eternal glory. We have to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus- our focus on Him- not us2Cor. 4:16 says, “Therefore do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. (Did you hear that ladies? We are being renewed daily!) For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes NOT on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” So, for me, every time I called upon the Holy Spirit, praying God’s will into my situation and declaring His promises through scripture- it became easier and easier to let go of the anger. But, ladies, it was never through my power and strength, but by His power and His strength!

That is what I have been learning about grace. Grace is so much more than being forgiven of sin, but the power to be the women God has created us to be! I love that! God’s grace grows! Peter says, “GROW in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” He wants our hearts to be strengthened by grace, as it says in Hebrews. The Lord does not want us to be in bondage to failure. He wants us to be free and full of joy. He gives us so much encouragement through His word. He calls us “more than conquerors.” His Word says “He equips us with everything good for doing His will.” We have got to start tapping in to this power! Ladies, this power within us is the same power that raised Jesus from the dead! His Word says, “Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires- it’s dead, let it go!- since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.”

Ladies, we have the Holy Spirit- the Most High God LIVING within us! What else would we need?!!!! God has given us all we will ever need.

Today, if you are feeling like a failure, feeling like you have blown it again, remember- you are a new CREATION in Christ Jesus. The old has gone, the new has come! If you are feeling hopeless today, please take heart. There is hope. Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. You may not see yourself right now as the person you want to be- but faith is being sure of what we hope for! Not faith in ourselves or in other people or the world, as I am sure many of you have found out, but faith in our Savior, Jesus Christ.

Ladies, salvation is so much more than going to heaven when we die- although THAT IN AND OF ITSELF IS GLORIOUS AND WORTH ACCEPTING OUR SAVIOR- but, it is also about living in His saving grace and freedom here on earth! Jesus wants to release us from bondage, depression, fear, doubt, mediocrity… Galatians 5:1 says, “It is for freedom that Christ has set you free. Stand firm, then and do not let yourselves again be burdened again by the yoke of slavery.”

Ladies, I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your heart through faith.” Amen.

Cafe Chat

Welcome to another week at the Cafe Chat! OH, KIM!!!!

This girl has us pondering STRONGHOLDS this week...a subject, I sadly admit to NOT being a stranger to....

She says:

Fill in the Blank. My biggest struggle/stronghold is _____________.

How would my life look if I no longer struggled with _______? What if I was
completely free from ______ through Christ’s power…(Put your struggle/stronghold in the blank) *Try to give some very specific ways your life would be different if you no longer struggled with your above named stronghold*

Well, my stronghold is FOOD! I hate to admit it because I have struggled with it, been set free and walked in the Promised Land....and have wandered back to Egypt. I hate it! Hate it! HATE IT!!!!!


I hate that anything would have "power" over me...that I would be in bondage to anything....

I WANT TO BE A SLAVE TO RIGHTEOUSNESS- NOT A SLAVE TO SIN!!!!!!

I am sure this topic is just for me this week....as I have been avoiding this. I have been pretending that this food issue hasn't crept back in...but it has!

There was a time in my life that food had absolutely NO PULL over me! There could be sweets, cakes, cookies, anything near me.....and if I wasn't hungry, I wouldn't even eat a bite. I wasn't being LEGALISTIC...I just didn't' have the desire....

We went on vacation and I didn't care about food...it didn't matter if I wasn't going to "see" a particular food again.....I didn't care about it!

Hmmm....how would my life look if I were completely free from the bondage of food....I look SKINNY! DUH!

Seriously, there are times that I feel like a "hypocrite" because how can I preach the Word and Freedom in Christ if I am not walking in it...experiencing it?


And, I have friends who tell me that my struggle keeps me real...helps me be relate-able with women.. I know that God wants me to be FREE! It is for freedom that Christ has set us free!


So, I am so glad that Kim has again reminded me of this. I have decided to again lay it at His feet and break free from these chains that bind me! Christ came to set the captives free!


If you would like to read more about my struggles and victory see here and here.



BELOW IS FROM A TALK I DID ON "BEAUTIFUL":

To be honest, I have spent much of my life feeling “not quite good enough”, not quite measuring up. We can have these feelings of inadequacy in many different areas of our lives. For some of us, it IS trying to reach that outward perfection that the world claims we must reach in order to be worthy. For others of us, we have felt inadequate, not quite “good enough” in other areas of our lives. I’m not a good enough mother-daughter-wife. I’m not good enough because I don’t have a husband… And, for many of us, seeking our self worth in these areas has led us into bondage, robbing us of joy and peace and confidence.

Well, as a Princess to the King, I know this is NOT my heritage! I am a daughter to the King of Kings, chosen, adopted, accepted in the Beloved, precious in His sight. He sees me as beautiful! These are HIS Words, not mine! But, I had to come to a place to receive this. I knew these truths in my HEAD, but I was not living them out, truly believing. I was not walking in joy, in freedom and victory. He began to reveal to me that my concern with my appearance and feelings of inadequacy had been a stronghold in my life, and He wanted to release me. He doesn’t want ANYTHING to keep us from experiencing all He has for us.

I wish I could say that this is the first stronghold I needed to be delivered from, but the truth is that since childhood I had gone to other things in my life, worldly pursuits, for comfort and security and satisfaction. I had not yet learned to depend on Christ, to cling to Him, to allow Him to fill me, heal me, and deliver me from the trials and tragedies of life.

Like every little girl I dreamed of being a beautiful princess, but, like so many others, my childhood wasn’t a fairy tale. My father died in a boating accident when I was a baby. My stepfather was an alcoholic and abusive to us. As a child and adolescent, I felt broken and scared, so, I hid myself. I turned to food. It became my safe place. Whenever I felt scared, sad, unloved, overwhelmed, or vulnerable, I would go to food for my escape and my comfort. Usually I would grab something sweet, and hide myself away, either watching TV or reading. I never talked about how I felt, but just buried myself, denying my feelings and losing myself in stories of other people- either in TV or books. I wouldn’t overeat in front of my friends. Only in secret.

I would “steal” a package of Oreos, lay on the couch by myself and zone out. And, that is what the enemy encourage us to do- hide. He deceives us into keeping our secrets hidden in the dark. But, ladies, we can never be healed until we expose these things to God’s light, which heals and restores.

So, food gave me comfort- for a little while, and then when the feeling was gone, I would go and get more. As you can imagine, this took its toll on my body and I soon became an overweight child. This led to more pain. Kids at school made fun of me. All I wanted to be was invisible, but my weight drew unwelcome attention.

By the time I hit junior high, I did not want to be overweight anymore. I wanted boys to like me. I did not want to be teased. So the summer before 8th grade, I stopped eating. I began walking or riding my bike everywhere I went. My weight dropped quickly and dramatically. And, I began to notice the attention I received with my new found body. Everyone commented on how good I looked. Boys began to notice me. I loved this new attention I was receiving because of how I looked. I found something new to fill this emptiness inside of me- the attention and the praise I received. I craved compliments and enjoyed flirting with guys. It was like a high, and the more I received, the more I wanted.

So, now my safe place became my appearance. As long as I was skinny and looked good on the outside, I felt like I was OK. Exercise soon became another stronghold. I needed it to maintain the thin body.

This continued through high school and college. My personal worth was directly related to my outward appearance. And, being on a large campus with an emphasis on partying, I lived on the attention I received at parties. I was living an MTV lifestyle. All of my “hang-ups” could be attributed to my childhood. And I could put the blame on my broken childhood, absence of father, abuse by a stepfather, the desperate feelings of needing to find that male affection and attention. These things created a longing in me, but instead of turning to God I turned to them to fill me. Instead of filling me up and giving me a satisfaction, it only created more of longing, a deeper hole to be filled. That is how it always is when we look to the world to fill us up. We may feel temporary satisfaction, but the need, desire, and longing comes back fiercer than before.

Well, with this deeper hole needing to be filled, I found another passion to make me feel accepted- working hard and achieving success. I began seeking approval of my professors by striving for academic perfection. I began receiving recognition through my work and my accomplishments. This continued even after college when I became a teacher. I needed to be the best. I needed to be perfect. I continually compared myself to everyone around me. I had this competitive spirit, striving to be better than everyone around me, to be the best, always with this underlying feeling that I wasn’t good enough.

By this time, I was married to my wonderful husband, Brian. He was right out of college, too, so we were both workaholics, spending every night working together.
Well, I went on like that for some time. We had our first child, Andrew, and we were expecting our second when we moved from Illinois to Cedar Rapids, Iowa. I was lonely, moving to new place far from home. And, I found a new thing to try to fill the longing of my heart… activities. I jumped right in, joining every club, organization, and play group. I will never forget one morning when Andrew stood crying at the door, saying, “Mommy, can we just stay home today?”

I was so busy with activities, trying to fill the emptiness in my soul.

Wow! I had set up such strongholds in my life. I didn’t think there was anything wrong. In fact, I probably thought I had it all together! Even though I would have considered myself a Christian, I DID NOT have an intimate relationship with the Lord. I prayed every night before bed and we went to church. Instead of feeding on God, hungering after Him and pursuing Him, I was feeding on these worldly pursuits. I was looking for my self worth in all of these things, but never quite measuring up. I never felt complete.

After Ashley was born, I could not take off my pregnancy weight, and I was feeling so depressed. Now, remember, for years, I had sought my worth in my outward appearance, and to have all this extra weight on me, I literally did not want to go out of the house! None of my clothes fit. Ashley was 6 months old, and I could only wear my husband’s pants or maternity clothes! I was desperate.

I heard about a bible study that helped you lose weight, and was so interested. So, I began facilitating it in my home. Wow! Did God open my eyes through that bible study!
It taught about strongholds and filling up on other things instead of a relationship with God. God began setting me free from these areas of bondage by filling up on Him! I had never experienced this RELATIONSHIP with the living God before! Yes, I had gone to church and prayed, but to make Him the Lord of my life, my strength, my redeemer, my deliverer, my very best friend, and my 1st love was completely new to me! To experience His presence daily, to be intimate with Him, to commune with Him daily… Whew! It changed my life forever!

I learned that I needed to seek a relationship with Jesus, instead of filling my heart with all of these worldly pursuits. He wants our hearts to be totally devoted to Him, so He will help us to work these things out, setting us free to be the women He created us to be! It is only in this relationship with my Precious Savior that I find my true worth. I have a longing, a desire to be loved, to feel safe, to be the princess… It is ONLY Jesus that can satisfy these longings and desires.

So over the past 7 years, God has continued to reveal to me strongholds in my life, areas of bondage that were keeping me from living in victory- keeping me from living the abundant life God had already given to me! He helped work through the process of being totally set free, living in complete liberty and joy! Thankfully, it has been a process and He slowly has revealed each area He wants to refine. God had so much work to do in my heart, that if He showed me everything at once, I probably would have had a breakdown! So, He would heal an area and I would be like “Whew! That’s done!” And then, He would reveal another area that He was going to refine.

So, last summer, God began working on this last area of bondage. He has freed me from has been the need to “beautiful” according to the world’s standards, and defining who I am in that, instead of believing who I am in Christ.

And, honestly, talking about this area of bondage is not easy. I mean, come on, I’m a Christian woman! I shouldn’t be worried about how I look- that is so shallow, so vain. So, for a long time I had been denying I even had this stronghold. I stuffed all of it down and refused to deal with it. But, when there is something deep down, God will bring it to the surface for us to deal with it. And, that is what He did.


God began showing me that I cared too much about how I looked through a few very HUMBLING experiences. He continued to prod at my heart, He continued to turn up the heat, so to speak. There was one point I would not look at my reflection in the mirror. I hated what I saw. I saw myself as flawed, as disgusting. My circumstances seemed to be getting worse and worse. I finally cried out to God. What He showed me was that was NOT how HE saw me. I am His beautiful creation. I had bought into the enemy’s lies and deception, and the world’s illusions. But, my precious God wanted me to see myself as He sees me- His princess, lovely, precious, beautiful. I am beautiful because Jesus is beautiful.

It is only in a relationship with my precious Savior that I will feel truly worthy. I have a longing, a desire to be loved, to feel safe, to be the princess… It is ONLY Jesus that can satisfy these longings and desires.


Because of my relationship with the only One who can fill me, Jesus Christ, I can see myself as lovely, precious, beautiful. I believe He was preparing me then to speak to YOU now. He laid on my heart, “Speak Truth to the brokenhearted. Tell them I see them as beautiful. It doesn’t matter what the world has told them, or other people. He says, ‘you are beautiful to me.”

“Those who look to Him are radiant, their faces are never covered with shame.” (Psalm 34:5)
Hear His precious words to you-
“The King is enthralled with your beauty.” (Psalm 45:11)
He says to you, “How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your voice is sweet and your face is lovely.”
(Song of Songs 1:15, 2:14 )


He loves us more than we could ever know or imagine.

Do you want to know my Jesus? Do you want to experience this love only our True Prince can give to us? Do you want to see yourself as He sees you, Princess?

Please pray with me. Father, I know there are women in this room right now who have never taken that step of accepting You as Lord and Savior. There is a dear one who wants to open her heart and surrender to Your love. Sisters, if you want to know this Jesus, to accept Him as Your Lord and Savior, pray, “God, I know I need You. I want You. I want to know You. I confess I have tried living without You, going my own way. I confess I am a sinner needing the redeeming blood of Jesus to set me free from sin and death. Lord, I make You my Lord and Savior. I ask You to come into my heart.”

Father, I know others in this room know You, but have not come into an intimate relationship with You. Sister, if this is you, and you so want an intimate relationship with Him, cry out to Him. Tell Him You want to know Him more. Tell Him you want Him to be your life, your stronghold, your source, your King, your sweet prince.

Father, in the name of Jesus, and by the power and authority we have through His blood, I pray for all of these women. I pray they would see themselves the way You see them. I pray that would grasp how wide, how long, how deep is the love of Christ, and I pray that they would KNOW this love, and that they may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. We praise You, Father! We praise You, Jesus!



Please visit the Cafe for more great chat!

Cafe Chat

Tell of one specific time in your Christian walk that you were overwhelmed with God’s love for you.

Oh, I love this Cafe Chat! I love to share with others the love of Christ! He loves us so much! He is our knight in shining armor! He is the sweetest Lover we could ever imagine! Some people think, "Oh, God doesn't do these sweet things for ME. He does these amazing things for Tracy or Beth Moore or the Cafe writers. He's never spoken to ME this way."

Oh, sweet one, I CHALLENGE you! He doesn't love ME any more than He loves YOU! He longs to show you His love. He longs to give you "kisses." He longs to bless you.

BE OPEN.

BE WATCHFUL.

LISTEN.

BELIEVE.

Scroll down and read "Happy Valentine's Day" for my example of God's love for the Cafe chat.

Blessings!

Come, sit awhile for a Cafe Chat.....

Kim has asked us to ponder an incredible question this week. She tells an incredible story of Helen Roseveare, a missionary in the Congo that endured tremendous suffering but continued to trust God and praise Him.

“There was no bitterness within her, though Helen had experienced terrible,
mindless evil. It would have been so easy to demand of God why He allowed these
atrocities, when she had been so faithful to His service. But in her heart of
hearts, she felt that God’s question would be, “Can you thank Me for trusting
you with this experience, even if I never tell you why?”

Kim writes, "That question stopped me in my tracks, and for today’s Chat I
would like to hear your thoughts about this question...Of course this is the
question that Helen felt like God was asking her, but I think it is a good
question for all of us to ponder."

Wow. Can I THANK God for trusting me with my painful experiences? Do I even want to have this attitude? Or, do I run from the idea of any pain or suffering, despite the New Testament promise that we rejoice when we share in the suffering of Jesus Christ?

This question brought me to weeping as I again was reminded of those suffering with suffering children, like Abby Riggs (scroll down). I posted about her last night and asked you to join me in prayer. Just before I checked in at the Cafe, I was praying for the women I met last weekend at the conference. So many praying for loved ones suffering from cancer....Others who have lost jobs. As I prayed, I was thinking how our lives would change if Brian lost his job. What would we do?

As I read this question, would I have the heart attitude of thanking God for HIM TRUSTING ME with this trial?

Or, what about cancer? Would I THANK HIM FOR TRUSTING ME with this trial?

Or, like Helen....being gang raped, beaten, and left for dead....would I thank God for TRUSTING ME with this trial?

Or, like Paul, beaten, stoned TWICE, shipwrecked and lost at sea, bitten by a poisonous snake, and imprisoned in chains, would I have the same heart attitude that cries,

"But whatever to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of
Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the
surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of the His resurrection and the FELLOWSHIP OF SHARING IN HIS SUFFERINGS, becoming like Him in His death, and so, somehow , to
attain to the resurrection from the dead."

Wow. A lot to think about today...

Please take a few moments to ponder this question and visit the Cafe to join the chat....

Cafe Chat

The question today at the CAFE is about mentors.....

Do you have a godly (woman) mentor in your life? If so, describe
your relationship with her… If you don’t have a mentor, would you like one and
what would you hope to gain from the relationship?

This was from a post last May:

Dear Lord, I am so thankful for my good friend, Sister in Christ, but most of all, my "Spiritual Mama," Donna. She is such a blessing to me! We had the rare opportunity to go out to dinner together last night (thank you, honey, for watching the kids!) and just fellowship! We talked and talked (did we ever get one conversation finished before we sidetracked into another?LOL!) It was a precious, relaxing, fun evening! Thank you, good, kind hearted, loving God for arranging a wonderful time together, and thank you all-knowing, precious, sweet God for giving me Donna.

Donna is "especially special" to me for so many reasons- she will be truthful with me, not just "tickle my ears," she will grieve with me when I am sad, she makes me laugh, she is so wise, and she is a kind, loving, and caring person. She is a grandma, so she has experienced more life than I have, and she is willing to share her successes and failures, especially in parenting.
The most precious thing about Donna to me, though, is that she is my "Spiritual Mama" and my "fill-in mother/grandmother." I live far from my mom, so Donna is often the "mom" I call when I need someone. She is the one who could visit me in the hospital, check on me if I am sick... Her sweet husband has come over to mow our grass when we needed it. They have come to see my son in a school concert since he didn't have any grandparents here. Her husband even came over and freed me when I was locked in the bathroom!!!!! How fortunate that I was locked in with the phone- does that surprise you???? Because she is in my Bible Study group, I get to see and hug Donna once a week! So, it is a blessing to have a "mom" physically HERE.

But even more than that, Donna is my Spiritual Mom, a true Titus 2 woman. My own dear mom loves God and prays about everything, trusts God, and has a simple faith. But, she doesn't know the Word. She doesn't read the Word. Donna, on the other hand, KNOWS the Word and studies the Word daily, and LOVES the Word. So, when I need advice, I often ask Donna, instead of my mom, because Donna will give me Godly advice, based on the Word and then we always pray about it! She is so wise! But again, it is Godly wisdom. Truly, much of her advice is "foolishness to the world." Forgive that person???? How could I???? Because in His Word He tells us to and that it will bring His blessing. Be joyful in this situation? It will bring peace. Feeling not at peace about something, then, should you be doing it? The "world" would definitely give me different advice than Donna gives me!

Oh, how thankful I am for my dear friend and mentor. A mentor isn't some distinguished professor, but just someone who is a little "further down the road" than you are. Actually, Lisa Bevere says we DON'T want mentors- we want "mamas." A mentor teaches you what they know, not necessarily wanting you to do better than THEM, so they may hold back a little. (Think of the business world. Would a person want their "underling" to excel?) But, a Mama wants her children not only to do AS WELL as her, but BETTER than her. She wants her children to soar to greater heights than she did. This is Donna- she wants even more for me- especially spiritually.

Do you need a "mama"? Look around. There are many in blogland. I am sure there are many at your church. Be bold- ask a woman to "mama" you. Pray and ask God to bring you one.
Be a "mama". There is always someone who hasn't come as far as you yet. Build relationships. Help one another. Be an example.

"Teach the older women to be reverent in the way they should live.... and teach
what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and
children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to
be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God."-
Titus 2:3-5

Father, thank you for blessing us with friendships. God, you made us as relational beings to crave companionship, friendship, and fellowship with one another. Thank you, Jehovah Jireh, "The Lord Who Provides" for providing us with mothers and "mamas." Thank you, precious God for caring about us so much that you give us friends, and thank you, Jesus, that you call ME friend! Lord, help me to be a "mama" to those you place in my path. Help me to see when you do. Help me to NOT be so busy that I miss it! Also, Lord, help me to be bold when I need a mama to ask someone. Lord, you are so good, so good. In the Savior's precious Name, the Name above all names, Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen.

Cafe Chat

What a great question to ponder at the Cafe today! I believe we are living in a generation where women, even Christian women fall victim to the lies of the enemy and the secular world. Unfortunately, the "lines" are being blurred and Christian women aren't "set apart" from the "world." Kim had a great example of submission. I blogged a bit in this area last week.

When I read the question, a different example immediately came to my mind......

What are some lies out in the world (secular views) today about
women that contradict what God says in His word about how women should be/act?
Diving a little deeper…What are some lies that are still out there in our
Christian circles about women? (Feel free to talk from a single woman’s point of
view or a married woman’s point of view)

I was having a conversation with my friend recently. We were at a school function and I told her how beautiful she is. And, she is gorgeous. Not only is she beautiful on the outside, but is lovely on the inside. She is a caring, loving person and an amazing mother to four adopted children. She gives of herself and has a deep care and concern for all children.

Her reaction to mu compliment was a horrified expression and a long list of arguments- her complexion, her wrinkles, her hair... What she said next, though, stunned me. She said that she didn't want to go out in public because she felt so ugly. This woman, as I said, is beautiful. It broke mu heart that she had set such an unrealistic standard of beauty for herself- one she probably could never attain: perfection.

And, isn't that the lie we have bought into as women? We have to be perfect~ skinny, but with large breasts. Perfect skin. Perfect hair. Perfect clothes. We have to look like we are 16, but with no acne! Botox. Diet pills. Surgery.

But, what does the Word tell us? "Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Is that what the world teaches us? Honor. Purity. Beauty.

God loves beauty. Look at His world. Sunsets, oceans, flowers, birds. But, what we fail to understand and teach to Christian women is that God looks at beauty differently than the world does! He doesn't see beauty as the world does. "Man looks at the outward appearance but God looks at the heart." And, we forget that He is the potter, the Creator.....We are His creation. We look the way He "designed" us! He knit us together in our mother's womb. God's beauty is so diverse. And, God's beauty is NOT "skin deep."

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as
braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it
should be that of your INNER self, the unfading beauty of a GENTLE and QUIET
spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." -1Peter:3-3-4

Sisters, we have got to stop believing the world's lies about beauty! God has created each one of us uniquely beautiful in His own way. "The King is enthralled with your beauty." Believe the Truth of who you are in Christ and approach the throne as a confident woman!

Please visit the Cafe for more ideas and chat!

A Woman of Noble Character

Over at the Cafe today, we are chatting about our heritage as Christians- a Godly character trait we have "inherited" from family and that we would like to pass down to our children. I immediately thought of my sweet mother-in-law, Barb.

"Wives, in the same way (as Jesus) be submissive to your
husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over
without the words by the BEHAVIOR of their wives, when they see the purity and
reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment,
such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead,
it should be that of your inner self, the unfading, quiet beauty of a GENTLE AND
QUIET spirit, which is of GREAT WORTH IN GOD'S SIGHT."

I met Barb when I began dating Brian at the tender age of 15. By then, I would have considered myself an independent young woman ready to set the world on fire. After all, I read Cosmo. I knew what "kind of woman I needed to be." I needed to "conquer" men, be better than them... at least that is what it said in all of the magazines. I watched Charlie's Angels.

So, when I was over at Brian's house I was APPALLED! I could not believe this woman! Sure, I liked her. She was sweet and wonderful. But, IN NO WAY WOULD I EVER BE LIKE HER!!!!!!!!!!!! She waited on her husband and 5 sons like a waitress! It was "Mama, get me a this, get me a that..." (and that was her HUSBAND!) Her boys just grunted! (kidding)

Anyway, I couldn't believe it. She served them. Dinner time was a perfect example. When she made dinner, she had all of the family seated, food, steaming HOT, drinks on the table, before she ever sat down. It always seemed like someone needed something before she sat down and the meal would be half over before she sat down! I would think, "why don't you get up and get yourself?????"

She was always last. She put others before herself. She served graciously. If there wasn't enough, she went without. She cooked, she cleaned, she took care of her family. She even washed the car! She was quiet. She was humble. She was gentle.She didn't "make her voice heard", at least in "public"- in front of me. She was definitely NOT a "Cosmo" woman!

I thought she was crazy. I thought she was weak. And, I often thought, "I will NEVER be like Barb! NEVER!"

I don't remember my mom being like that. I honestly don't remember one way or the other. I spent most of my time at Brian's house those years, so maybe she was and I didn't see it. I see those servant behaviors NOW in my mom. Maybe she has changed or maybe it is now that I see it. But,with Barb, I SAW it! There was another girlfriend that would also be at the house and she and I would often roll our eyes in agreement that this was RIDICULOUS!

I thought, "Barb, get a backbone! Barb, stand up for yourself! Is his leg broken???? Tell him to get up off of the couch and get an apple himself!!!"

This was all before I had a relationship with the Lord. And, before I had ever read 1Peter:3:1-3. My opinion has changed so much as God gives me wisdom and I see that this is exactly the woman I want to BE! I long to put my own selfishness aside and serve with such a gentle, sweet heart. What I thought was weakness is really strength! It is the strength to be a living sacrifice, a gentle and humble servant (like Jesus was and tells us to be!). It is the strength to kill the flesh and put others above yourself.

Now, I want MY family to see Barb in me. I long to be that quiet and gentle spirit. I want to be the 1Peter woman whose beauty comes from such a spirit.

Now, I see Barb as the Proverbs 31 woman. She exemplifies this woman. "A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life......She is clothed with strength and dignity....She speaks with wisdom....Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her....Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."

Now when I look at Barb, I see her with mature eyes of a wife and mother. I see that her 5 boys rise up and call her blessed. They respect their mother and love her. Every Mother's Day and birthday and Christmas they lavish her with expensive gifts. We all make sure to visit her and call her. All of her grandchildren (12 of them!) love her and respect her. Not one of her children or grandchildren would ever dare use swear words or bad language in front of her because of respect. Her husband loves her (they have been married 48 years) and cherishes her. They still go to coffee in the morning, out to dinner every Saturday night, church on Sunday, and they spend the winters in Florida. He takes care of her and still calls her "Mama" even though there aren't any children around anymore.

Yes, I want to my girls to be like Grandma Berta (and hopefully I am, too!)- a quiet and gentle spirit, humble and meek with a servant heart, putting others before herself. That would be a Godly character trait that worth "passing down."

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