At the Well

Today we are discussing one of my favorite topics at the well~ our words and the power of them! Our host is Cindy Beal. Please visit her- she has a great post to get you thinking and lots of other Titus 2 women are linked there with their thoughts.

If you are married, how well do you sweet-talk your spouse?

If you are not married, do you sweet-talk other important folks in your life?

What are some things you can say TODAY to let your spouse and others close to you know that you think the world of them?

Oh, oh, oh how I have lived out this topic! You see, it is so common for us as women to bash our husbands, with think it is the norm. Turn on the TV or watch any "chick flick" and you will see a behavior that makes it seem perfectly normal to complain, put down, belittle, and make fun of our husbands. Men are stupid. We (women) are obviously the more intelligent sex. At least that is the impression you get from watching TV or reading the women's mags. Before I walked with Christ, I, too, was one of these women. I complained about Brian. I made fun of him, both behind his back and in groups of friends. I took him for granted. I was better than him. How did I "put up" with him, anyway???????

Is it a wonder that more than 50% of marriages end in divorce?????

Even before I began walking with the Lord, I met a woman who intrigued me. I was an aide in her BD classroom. I am not sure if she was a Christian (I think she was.....). But, she always referred to her husband as "Mr. Wonderful." When he would call her (at least twice a day), she would say, "That was Mr. Wonderful." She would praise him constantly. I liked it. It made me feel good. I made ME feel happy to be around her and her pleasant disposition.

I also knew a woman who would call me every morning and begin the bashing. Everything her husband did was wrong. Men were stupid. Husbands were not measuring up. Brian was a jerk. How did I put up with him? I felt like the life was being sucked out of me whenever she called. I felt "icky" when I got off of the phone. I found myself talking to her less and less.

Then, I met Jesus, truly met him (I had been going to church all of my life, but this was a relationship!) and He began to work on my heart and in my words!

I began to go to Hearts at Home conferences, where I heard speakers talk about honoring our husbands. God began convicting me of my words and my attitude. I read "The Power of the Praying Wife", expecting to "pray" Brian into behaving the way I wanted him to behave, but instead got a wake up call! The first chapter talked about ME and the first prayer was for ME to be the wife God is calling me to be! I began studying Proverbs 31 and the book of James (lots of MOUTH verses there!). God also used Ephesians 4:29 to convict me of my speech.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is
helpful in building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit
those who listen."

So often, though, I would plug along, doing my best to speak life over Brian, complementing him, lifting him up, encouraging him.... and then, I would hear that sneaky little voice say, "But what about ME???? When am I going to get the same sweet speech? Shouldn't Brian be encouraging ME???? When is it my turn?????"

Oh, God would have to speak to my heart. It wasn't about ME getting compliments and sweet speech in return. It WASN'T about me giving to GET was about loving my sweet husband and honoring him.

The interesting thing was....when I started honoring him with my words- doing things like thanking him for working so hard (I was able to stay at home!!!), being a great dad, and telling him how much I love him- my attitude began to change! I began to realize how much I depended on him, how much I love him. I began to see him as "Mr. Wonderful". It became soooo fun to honor him and the kids to honor him.

I have come to realize that my words will either bring life or death, blessing or curses. I choose to either tear down or lift up with my words.

"The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears
hers down." Proverbs 14:1.

Father God, forgive me for past attitudes and words. Help me to love Brian with kind, encouraging words. In Jesus' Name I pray. Amen.

4 thoughts shared....:

LauraLee Shaw said...

Perfectly put! YOur testimony of the phone calls and the change in your words is very powerful.

Denise said...

May God sweetly bless your marriage.

Michele W. said...

Thank you for your awesome testimony. God bless you and your husband.

Leah said...

The Lord has so been dealing with me on this very topic of loving and respecting and honoring my husband. I'm just finishing Emerson Eggerichs' "Love and Respect" and it is a very convicting, but awesome read!!

I'd highly recommend it.

Take care. I'm headed to San Antonio tomorrow!