Word-Filled Wednesday

Lord, may I never TEAR DOWN my own home....

with a critical spirit...

with bitterness....

complaining...

whining....

quarreling..

Instead-

may I build it....

with encouragement...

forgiveness....

kindness....

patience...

joy...

gentleness....

compassion...

LOVE.

Hope you don't mind.....I am reposting this from last April. I have been thinking about this verse recently.

I was thinking about how I have gotten into a habit of "jumping" on my husband and children. I have something I want to "tell" them (make that nag, complain, and rebuke....)

and because I want to "get it out of the way"

or because it is fresh in my mind

(or maybe because I have been stewing on it for several hours),

the minute the poor soul walks in the door

(or wakes up and comes downstairs or gets into the car),

I pounce!

Thank You, Holy Spirit that You have been quieting my heart and hushing my mouth and opening my eyes to this "bad habit."

I want to be the wise woman who builds her house!

Making the Bed...at the Internet Cafe

Do you like making the bed? Have you ever thought making the bed is like MARRIAGE? I wrote about it today at the Cafe.....

To read this devotion, please come over to the Cafe. Click here.

Thankful Thursday

In honor of Valentine's Day, I am going to thank God for my sweet honey! I am so thankful for this wonderful man who has blessed my life in so many ways.

I am thankful that he is patient with my immaturity, my selfishness, my self-centered-ness!

Love is patient.

I am so thankful that he forgives me. I am so glad that he overlooks my flaws...my mistakes...my sin!

Love covers a multitude of sin.

I am so thankful that even though there was a time in my marriage that I would not have blamed my beloved for asking for a divorce, God gave him the grace to stay with me! I did so many stupid things in my youth! And, I would have told you that I was perfectly justified, the one who was "right." I thought HE needed to change, needed to do for me, needed to be different.....

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Looking back, I see that I was so WRONG!

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with
compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other
and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the
Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all
together in perfect unity.

And, I am so thankful that by the grace of God we survived those difficult days and that now we have a healthy, strong marriage with no possibility of divorce. I am thankful for the commitment and the "forever" attitude that we both share.

The man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my
flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man." For this
reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and
they will become one flesh.

Lord, thank You that even if I didn't have Brian, YOU call ME Beloved. You love ME with an unending LOVE. You are my TRUE LOVE and the hero of my love story.

Please visit Iris at Grace Alone to read more Thursday Thankfulness!

Happy Anniversary, Honey

Happy Anniversary, my sweet man!

On October 15, 20 years ago, I married the love of my life and it has been amazing.

Brian, each day I fall in love with you more.

.

When we started out, we were kids. We struggled....We lived on macaroni and cheese and didn't even have a dollar for a slice of Garcia's pizza! We didn't know HOW to love one another. But, we always knew we wanted to- we knew that God gave us to each other. We've made mistakes over the years, but we have become stronger through them.

Brian, you have always encouraged me. You have always supported me. You have always lifted me up. I could never be the mother, daughter, speaker, writer that I am without your encouragement and support.

You are my best friend. Whenever I am discouraged, you know just what to say. When I am scared, you calm me. You make me laugh. I love being with you.

You are such a wonderful father. I love watching you with the kids. They love to play with you. They have such a love and respect for you....because you spend time with them....because you love them.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it
does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is
not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1Corinthians 13:4-7

Brian, you are patient. You are kind. You are not envious. You do not boast...you are not proud. You are not rude or self-seeking. You are not easily angered. You keep no record of wrongs. You do not delight in evil. You protect our family.

You are the love of my life.

Happy Anniversary.

At the Well

Today we are discussing one of my favorite topics at the well~ our words and the power of them! Our host is Cindy Beal. Please visit her- she has a great post to get you thinking and lots of other Titus 2 women are linked there with their thoughts.

If you are married, how well do you sweet-talk your spouse?

If you are not married, do you sweet-talk other important folks in your life?

What are some things you can say TODAY to let your spouse and others close to you know that you think the world of them?

Oh, oh, oh how I have lived out this topic! You see, it is so common for us as women to bash our husbands, with think it is the norm. Turn on the TV or watch any "chick flick" and you will see a behavior that makes it seem perfectly normal to complain, put down, belittle, and make fun of our husbands. Men are stupid. We (women) are obviously the more intelligent sex. At least that is the impression you get from watching TV or reading the women's mags. Before I walked with Christ, I, too, was one of these women. I complained about Brian. I made fun of him, both behind his back and in groups of friends. I took him for granted. I was better than him. How did I "put up" with him, anyway???????

Is it a wonder that more than 50% of marriages end in divorce?????

Even before I began walking with the Lord, I met a woman who intrigued me. I was an aide in her BD classroom. I am not sure if she was a Christian (I think she was.....). But, she always referred to her husband as "Mr. Wonderful." When he would call her (at least twice a day), she would say, "That was Mr. Wonderful." She would praise him constantly. I liked it. It made me feel good. I made ME feel happy to be around her and her pleasant disposition.

I also knew a woman who would call me every morning and begin the bashing. Everything her husband did was wrong. Men were stupid. Husbands were not measuring up. Brian was a jerk. How did I put up with him? I felt like the life was being sucked out of me whenever she called. I felt "icky" when I got off of the phone. I found myself talking to her less and less.

Then, I met Jesus, truly met him (I had been going to church all of my life, but this was a relationship!) and He began to work on my heart and in my words!

I began to go to Hearts at Home conferences, where I heard speakers talk about honoring our husbands. God began convicting me of my words and my attitude. I read "The Power of the Praying Wife", expecting to "pray" Brian into behaving the way I wanted him to behave, but instead got a wake up call! The first chapter talked about ME and the first prayer was for ME to be the wife God is calling me to be! I began studying Proverbs 31 and the book of James (lots of MOUTH verses there!). God also used Ephesians 4:29 to convict me of my speech.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is
helpful in building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit
those who listen."

So often, though, I would plug along, doing my best to speak life over Brian, complementing him, lifting him up, encouraging him.... and then, I would hear that sneaky little voice say, "But what about ME???? When am I going to get the same sweet speech? Shouldn't Brian be encouraging ME???? When is it my turn?????"

Oh, God would have to speak to my heart. It wasn't about ME getting compliments and sweet speech in return. It WASN'T about me giving to GET something....it was about loving my sweet husband and honoring him.

The interesting thing was....when I started honoring him with my words- doing things like thanking him for working so hard (I was able to stay at home!!!), being a great dad, and telling him how much I love him- my attitude began to change! I began to realize how much I depended on him, how much I love him. I began to see him as "Mr. Wonderful". It became soooo fun to honor him and the kids to honor him.

I have come to realize that my words will either bring life or death, blessing or curses. I choose to either tear down or lift up with my words.

"The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears
hers down." Proverbs 14:1.

Father God, forgive me for past attitudes and words. Help me to love Brian with kind, encouraging words. In Jesus' Name I pray. Amen.

May Day, Stinky Suppers, and GRACE!

Yesterday was May Day and we "celebrated" by delivering May Day baskets to our neighbors and friends. I don't remember ever doing this as a child, but when we moved to Iowa, we soon found out it is a BIG DEAL! Most people put popcorn, jelly beans, and candy in a plastic cup, leave it on a friend's front porch, ring the doorbell, and RUN AWAY! It's lots of fun.

Now, yesterday was also soccer practice and Ashley had a concert at school. BUSY!!!!! So, for dinner, I quickly threw together some chicken, a salad, and butter noodles. It was NOT what I had planned to make for my family, but in my haste, I had forgotten to prepare the chicken dinner. It basically was throwing it on the table, get your own drinks, oops forgot to put on the bread and butter (my hubby is a HUGE bread and butter man), take care of yourselves while I run upstairs to curl my hair and put on makeup before the concert. Needless to say, my hubby wasn't thrilled and he made a comment that cut to my heart. He wasn't trying to be unkind, he was simply stating the obvious. The Holy Spirit immediately convicted me, but in my maturity, I whined, nagged, complained and berated him about how mean he is!

Now, I have been listening to Joyce Meyer for the past several days, and if you are familiar with her, you can understand all of the thoughts that were running through my mind! Nothing like hearing Joyce Meyer in your head telling you that you need to apologize. So, at the concert, I apologized and we kissed and "made up," but God had a lot more work to do in my heart!

I kept waking up through the night with the Holy Spirit prodding me....."Tracy, why was Brian's validation of your cooking so important?..... Are you looking to him instead of me? .... Are you pleasing God or pleasing man?.... You know that PEOPLE will never fill your heart with the love it needs, so why are you expecting Brian to fill you?.......Have you been filling your spirit with Me, are you filled to overflowing with Me?......." I continued to pray all through the night, repenting of not turning to Him.....

In the morning, I was reading an old journal from 2005 and had written truths from "The Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free." This is what I read:

"The Truth is that the ultimate purpose of marriage is NOT to make us happy, but to glorify God." Ouch.

"The Truth is that contentment is not found in having everything we think we want but in choosing to be satisfied with what God has provided." Ouch.

"The Truth is that those who insist on having their own way often end up with unnecessary heartache while those who wait on the Lord will always get His best!" Ouch. Ouch. OUCH!

As I prayed, the Holy Spirit prompted me to think about last night's dinner and to ask God if He was pleased with how I made it. Brian's opinion was not as important as God's. Ouch. He reminded me of how I had thrown everything together and did not take the time to serve my family properly. Ouch. No, I had not done my best to please God, my family, or to glorify Him. He showed me that although the May Day baskets were fun and blessed others, my first priority is to bless my family. God has placed within my home my greatest ministry- my husband and my children. I realized I needed to take care of them FIRST!

But, thanks be to God for His forgiveness and grace and for my family's! I apologized this morning to Brian for not taking the time to make him a nice meal. Thank You, God for his grace!

Father, may I always make my family first priority after You. Help me to glorify by taking care of them. Thank You for Your forgiveness and grace AND their grace! In Jesus' Name we pray. Amen!