At the Well

Welcome back to the well! I pray that you will be refreshed as you stop to get a drink of encouragement and inspiration. This week, our host is Lisa at
A Second Generation of Homeschooling



She came up with the awesome and practical topic this week:
Welcome Home Daddy

(Preparing your home for Daddy's homecoming at night, training the children in preparing the house for Daddy and making Daddy feel loved and appreciated)



Discussion Questions:
How can we lay a welcome mat of love for our husbands after a long day of hard work?
How can we make our homes inviting places where Daddy longs to be at the end of a long day? How can we involve our children in this process and teach them to show reverence to their Daddy?
I love this topic! God sooooooo convicted me of welcoming Brian home several years ago. Honestly, though, it can be a habit that I "fall out" of, if I don't purposely make the effort to do it! I first "heard" this idea of sending husbands off to work/welcoming them home at a Hearts at Home Conference.
What a revelation!!!!!! I had never realized how important it was for ME to honor Brian by letting him know that I valued him and his contribution to our family.
I had selfishly focused on ME and how I was working so hard at home, and how I needed HIM to come home and help me! I was the one taking care of babies all day. I had to do everything!!!!! I needed some help!
Pity Party!!!!!!!!
And, then I heard a speaker talk on this subject and OUCH! God convicted me of my selfishness. I had never thought about how Brian needed to come home and unwind and feel appreciated. He had just been out in the world, (in the marketplace, not the most Godly place!) and had the stress and pressure of work. I realized how fortunate I was being at home, listening to Christian radio most of the day while I went about my work. I was able to snuggle the kids and rest. I was even able to get a little devotional time in the afternoon while the kids napped.
So, I changed my focus!!!!!!!
I have always felt it is important for Brian to come home to a nice home and dinner. And, I feel since I am AT HOME, it's my responsibility to take care of our home. My 1st ministry is my family- taking care of them- not volunteering at church or school; not taking care of a friend, not small group bible study.......I am involved in all of these things, but after I have taken care of my family. If/when they begin to interfere with how well I take care of my husband, children, or home, something has to give!
Here are some guidelines I try to follow:
1. Stay off the phone when it's time for Brian to come home!!!!!!!!
It would never seem to fail- at 4:45 someone would call the house. And, Brian would pull in at 4:50. Ouch. How does that make Brian feel? Not good. I'm sure he wondered why I couldn't finish my phone conversations sometime in the 9 hours he was gone! That definitely did NOT communicate that I valued him more than whoever was on the other end.
This is the biggest area I have to train my kids in. They think they MUST answer the phone when it rings and that it is "rude" when you don't. I am trying to teach them that whoever is on the other end can usually wait. We can call back. Whoever is on the other end is NOT more important than our family.
2. TV off!!!!!!!!!!
Again, what does this communicate to Brian if we can't turn off the TV for 10 minutes when he comes home???? Priorities???? And, again, this can be hard for the kids to follow- if they are in a middle of a show. So, I need to prepare them in advance, warning them in advance and turning it off in plenty of time!!!
3. Snack ready...
We usually don't have dinner right when Brian comes home, so I like to have a snack ready for him. This really speaks to him!!!! And, it usually is so simple~ carrots and dip, fresh veggies, crackers and cheese....
This can be hard, too! The kids love to eat these snacks, so saving some for Dad AND it still looking nice can be hard!
4. Surprise Party!!!!!!!!
I know it sounds a little strange...... But, the kids love to hide and jump out and "scare" Brian. When it's dark (the winter months) we even turn out the lights! We all jump out and scream, "Surprise!" Brian isn't surprised or scared, but loves to play along!!! It's fun for all of us!
I think the most important thing for me is to pass on this attitude of welcoming home. When I read the awesome book, A Woman After God's Own Heart, I also was convicted about doing the same for my children. Wow! They so appreciate being welcomed home~ it makes them feel special and loved.
I get the fancy glasses out and they get to drink juice out of fancy glasses and have snacks on the good china. Wow! Do they know they are missed when they are away.
Elizabeth George had awesome, practical ideas in her book.


The coolest thing is that the kids (and Brian) have internalized this habit of welcoming home. When I speak and am gone for the weekend, I return to a clean house and posters about how much they missed me. I get to see first hand the care and love one feels when you know you are missed when you're gone!!!!

Thank you, Lisa for this week's great focus. I have to confess I have gotten lazy and sloppy in welcoming Brian home, (and thus, the kids, too.....) So, I am recommitting to making hubby feel special and appreciated by welcoming him home. Will you join me?

Please visit Lisa and Chelsey to get lots more encouragement and inspiration!


10 thoughts shared....:

Heather Marshall @ TheStrivingWife.com said...

Tracy,

Excellent ideas!!! I'm not yet a mom, but I know that at least I can personally implement these ideas for when my husband comes home!

I wrote something similar on my blog recently; it was based off of the "Good Wife's Guide" from the 1950's. It kind of turned into a 3 part series, but it was along similar lines to what you just wrote.

Oh, and Elizabeth George is great! I love her book, "A Wife After God's Own Heart"!

Heather
TheStrivingWife.com

Denise said...

Such a wonderful post sweetie.

JesusRulzMe said...

Dearest sister Tracy,

GREAT post and fabulous recommendations on "A Woman After God's Own Heart". Elizabeth George also has a book out entitled, "A Wife After God's Own Heart."

Another great book on becoming a Biblically submissive wife based on Proverbs 31:1-31 and Titus 2:3-5 is Virginia Fugate's book: "On the Other Side of the Garden: Biblical Womanhood for Today's World"

It's on my "bookshelf" on my blog if you'd like more info on it.

Bless you dear sister,
Sunny

iamreallytrying said...

Tracy,

That's an awesome post! So much good stuff. Inspirational and yet immensely practical. (I love Elizabeth George - especially Loving God with All Your Mind.)

Thanks for sharing!

Blessings,
Dena

Laurie Ann said...

Tracy, I love the way you and the kids welcome home your husband. The part about the phone really spoke to me. I'm not one to talk on the phone often, but every morning as Steve and I ride into work together, invariably my sister will text me to tell me to have a great day, yada yada. I text her back and since I'm new at this texting thing, it takes me a while. I'm sure he feels neglected! The phone is now going on vibrate in the mornings and when I get to the office I will respond, or I'll text her first before I leave the house. Kind of off topic, but Steve and I always turn off our cell phones or sometimes don't take them with us when we are having a date night. It communicates to the other that each of us is the focus of that night, not who might be calling.

Karen said...

I can so relate to that selfishness thing. That was part of my problem in the past. I would see that my hubby needed to help me because there was so much for me to do. Thankfully, God has helped me see the error of my ways. I try to show my love to my hubby by making sure things are picked up before we go to bed at night (hubby works nights) as well as some other things I share in my post. I'm not perfect. God has continued to mold and shape me and help me improve in this area more and more.

Hope you have a wonderful week!
Karen
www.homesteadblogger.com/tagblog

Joyfull said...

I have enjoyed reading the ideas shared on this topic. This is also an area the Lord has worked in me. The phone was my biggest struggle, but speaks volumes when I center my attention on husband's arrival.
I also absolutely love the book by Elizabeth George. I am currently reading it (again) and love the ideas she shares. Loved your post - thanks for sharing.

DarcyLee said...

I remember those days when my girls were small and it felt like I didn't get anything done except changing diapers and keeping them fed! I've had my share of pity parties too. Thank God, I, too, had some Godly women through books and speakers to show me a better way. Our husbands deserve so much better. God bless you as raise your little ones for Christ.

a woman found said...

oooo! I needed to be reminded about the not being on the phone when he gets home one!!! Thanks!!

Great post. I think we all need to revisit this area of our lives regularly to see how it's goin.

blessings
sheila

Jill Savage said...

This is a great reminder, Tracy. Thank you! And thanks for the mention of Hearts at Home. I love hearing how Hearts at Home has affected someone. Now you have impacted me because sometimes I've forgotten how important it is that I welcome Mark home!