Picking up from last night.........
When I walked in yesterday to find my children fighting, Andrew teasing his sisters, and the chores not finished, Monster Mom came out, and I "blew up" at the kids. Even though in my heart, I want to be a "quiet and gentle" spirit, I reacted in anger. Even though I have the fruit of the Spirit of self-control, I did not control my emotions. I was NOT "slow to speak, slow to get angry, and quick to listen" (James). But, thank You, Most Gracious God, You are quick to listen, slow to get angry, and full of compassion and forgiveness! Within a few minutes, the Holy Spirit convicted me through my son, Andrew (while I was "ranting"!). I immediately repented and told my kids that I was sorry. When I was praying about this in the quiet, God reminded me of my earlier prayer in the car (you remembered, didn't you???).
I had told God that I wanted to be "a light shining for Him" no matter what the circumstances- flat tires or fighting kids. Well, He answered my prayer and gave me the opportunity to be that light! Did you see "Even Almighty?" In that movie, "God" (otherwise known as Morgan Freeman), was talking to the mom in the movie about prayer. He said if you prayed to have patience, then, He wasn't going to zap you, and "boom", you now have patience. He would give you opportunities to develop patience, opportunities to "be patient." If you were praying to be kind, He would give you opportunities to demonstrate kindness. You know, you have probably heard the joke, "Be careful what you pray for!"
Well........... I had prayed to be a light (and I NAMED two specific circumstances!) no matter what. Here's the good news- no, the GREAT news! Even though I slipped up with my kids, God WILL GIVE ME MORE OPPORTUNITIES! That means that I will have the chance to be a light shining in the darkness when the kids are fighting, or when the dog gets in the garbage, or when someone cuts me off in traffic, or when the check-out girl is rude to me, or when someone is short-tempered with me. The truth is, it is easy to be Christ-like when everything is going great, but the real "walkin' in out" comes when times are not so easy. Am I going to walk out my Christian beliefs no matter what? Or when the goin' gets tough, am I going to act like "everybody else?" You see, I am different from the "world." I have the Spirit of the Most High God living inside of me! I have the POWER of the Holy Spirit WITHIN me! I HAVE THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT ALREADY- LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS, GENTLENESS, FAITHFULNESS, GOODNESS, AND SELF-CONTROL! (Galatians 6:22) My challenge is to "keep in step with the Spirit," to die to my flesh, and cry out to God to help me in the difficult circumstances. (Romans 6, 7, 8) You see, Tracy is NOT strong enough, "good" enough, patient enough..... But, the Holy Spirit is! I am a new creation! The old has gone and the new has come! I DO NOT HAVE to react the "old way" anymore! I have a choice. (Ephesians 4) Am I going let my emotions and my flesh rule over me, or am I going to depend on my God, rest in His power, and walk in who I am in Christ? I have the same power living in me as raised Jesus Christ from the dead!!!!! THAT IS POWER!!!!! (Ephesians 1 & 2)
I do not have a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love, sound mind, and self-control. (2Timothy 1:7) So, God, I cry out to You! I ask that You help me in those circumstances! Thank You for the Holy Spirit who whispers in my ear, encouraging me, guiding me, pointing out the way. Thank You, God, that You are patient! Praise You, Jesus!
The bible passages that came to mind while I was writing this are from James. "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance MUST FINISH ITS WORK so that you may be MATURE AND COMPLETE, not lacking anything." I want to be mature in my faith! I know that the only way to be "mature and complete" is to walk out my faith through trials. Am I going to walk the walk, not just "talk the talk?"
Father, I praise You! I love You, Lord! Thank You for Your infinite Wisdom! Thank You that You know how to best grow my faith, how to refine it. I thank You for Your forgiveness. I love You, Lord. May I walk in Your Truth today! In Jesus' Name I pray. Amen!
Picking up from last night.........