Gathering at the Well...

Praise for the Most High

The discussion questions are:
Who or what is "most high" in your mind and heart today?
Is it the Most High, or someone or something else?

Well, we are not starting this week at the well with idle "chit chat", but heavy IDOL discussions! As we gather today, we are asked to look at ourselves honestly and answer the question who is the most high in our hearts.

Of course, I would jump up and shout out, "GOD!" My beautiful Jesus, my Savior, my LIFE! I praise Jehovah, Almighty God as my Most High!

Hmmm......

But, do my actions really reflect that truth? Or what about my secret thoughts? What about the things I dare not whisper out loud to anyone else....lest you will see me for who I really am.

Oh, how I want my answer to be God! Oh, how I wish my selfish heart would DIE completely so that He could LIVE completely in me and through me.

Unfortunately, I often place someone else on the throne of my heart. I often worship this person first and foremost, even before God. Often, the "most high" in my life is...

ME.

SELF.

I worry about if things are "fair" to me. I justify myself when I am sure I am "right." I lament when "I have to do everything."

And, lately, a struggle I have been fighting is the inner, secret desire to be "admired." No, not like American Idol. But, this need for others to recognize my accomplishments. It is something just between me and God. I am not a person who lists all of her good works to others to get praise (look at me now trying to "justify" my heart!). In fact, "those" people drive me crazy! You know, the person who makes sure EVERYONE knows she volunteered for this or was responsible for that. I may not "do" this on the outside, but inwardly, my heart is screaming the same things! "Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."1Samuel 16:7

"Did you see me? Was that good? See what a good influence I am? See how I am making a difference?"

AGH.

It is no wonder Jesus tells us not to let the right hand know what the left hand is giving!

I hate this about my heart. I know it is what got Satan into trouble.

Pride.

He wanted to be worshipped like God.

I know that it is not ME who is doing the "good" things...it is JESUS within me. It is the Holy Spirit. I refuse to "steal" God's glory! The glory that is due to Him!

In my race to "get credit" for the good things happening, I am really stealing the credit from God. It is only Him who "deserves" the credit. All glory to God!

I purpose in my heart to say like John the Baptist "I must decrease so that He may increase!" See John 3:22-30.

Lord, You see the motives of the heart. You know what lies deep within me...the things I try to keep secret. The things I don't want others to know. But, I know when I bring these things into the Light, You can change me. Purify my heart, Lord. Make my motives pure. Get rid of all selfish ambition. Fill me with You. Less of me and more of You. Less of me and more of You. Less of me and more of You. NONE of me and ALL of You. In Jesus' precious name we pray. AMEN.

Please join the gathering at the well today and drink deeply of what He has to share.

Putting God first in my life has been a topic I have written about often because it has been an area of challenge for me. I have spent lots of time studying the Old Testament- the plight of the Israelites and how they continued to turn to idols INSTEAD of the Most High God. And, even though you have to say, "Are you guys CRAZY????", too often I have seen myself make the same mistakes. If you would like to read more, see here, here, here, or here.

At the Well

Wow! Another challenging topic to ponder.....the last few days have been full of thought-provoking topics in bloggy land. I have had to (gulp) take a long look into my heart, bringing lots of issues before God. Please check out Saturday's Cafe Chat for another challenging thought!

As we gather together, let us take a look deep within our hearts. Lord, search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Let's ponder this week's question:

Are my motives pleasing to you, God?
The discussion questions are:

What is the real underlying motive for all the good stuff that you do?
FOR EXAMPLE:
Do you go to church to fulfill an obligation?
Do you get involved to get a reaction from someone; possibly pity, recognition or even money? Do you volunteer in your child’s classroom to analyze the new teacher or is it to help? Do you share prayer requests for a chance to gossip or because you truly care and are praying?

OK. Who has been reading my journal? Who has been listening to my whisperings to God? Who has found out the secret fears of my heart?

I struggle with this.

I CONSTANTLY go before God, confessing that my motives are selfish, pleading with Him to get my heart right!

I am a person who worries too much about "getting credit" for my accomplishments. (Pride, pride, pride, pride, UGLY pride). In conversations, I find myself slipping in little tidbits here and there, letting people know that I am the one who organized taking meals for a friend, I am praying for that desperate person, I have organized a "God's Girls" club at my house with my daughters and their friends, I volunteered at such and such event......(OK, being real honest today! Hope you still come back, it's not pretty!)

And, it gets worse. I catch myself taking credit (in my heart) when the women in my small group bible study are growing in their relationship with God- as if I HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT!!!!

I get so MAD at myself because ALL THE GLORY GOES TO GOD! How could I take credit for something He is doing?????

As a speaker, it is something I continually bring to God. I don't want my focus to be on ME or how many women are at the event or how I have impacted the women....

I don't want it to be about ME!!!!

Perhaps this is why Jesus says, "Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in Heaven....do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving (not just money, but your "giving" of yourself, time, talents, service....) may be in secret."

Jesus knew (knows) the condition of our human hearts. He knows that we struggle with pride, pleasing people, building up our own selves...

This is why I have tried to keep my "good deeds" secret! I make it a point NOT to tell others what I am doing. Sometimes I have to talk to God in my head, saying, "God, I am purposely being silent. You know what I have done. I want to do it for You, Lord!"

I continue to bring every thought to Him in this area, telling Him that I DO NOT want to have any selfish motives or wrong ambition...

"Do nothing our of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider
others better than yourselves." -Philippians 2:3

This verse spoke to me several years ago when I first began speaking. I didn't (do not now) want there to be ANY selfish ambition when I speak for Him. I want it to be all about HIM and for His glory!

Lord, may ever motive be pure! Lord, if there is any selfish ambition or vain conceit, please purify my heart. Make my heart right, O LORD!

I helped organize the first large women's conference at my home church. This was the first event of its size and it WAS AMAZING! God truly "stretched out Hand and performed many signs and miracles"- setting women free from bondage, bringing women into relationship with Himself for the first time, drawing women to Christ, healing hearts and minds...

This is the verse He showed me:

"We are not trying to please men but God, who tests our hearts." -1Thessalonians
2:4

Lord, test my heart! Show me if I am trying to please men or You. May I always seek to please You and You alone!

Meditate on these passages from James. They spoke to me!

"Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, deeds done IN HUMILITY that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor BITTER ENVY AND SELFISH AMBITION in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have ENVY AND SELFISH AMBITION, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness."

It is always about our hearts, isn't it? Even when we are "doing good deeds," God is always looking at our hearts.

James goes on to say,

"What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, BECAUSE YOU ASK WITH THE WRONG MOTIVES, that you may spend what you get on your own pleasures."

Lord, I know You care about the condition of my heart. It is important to You. You care more about that than circumstances of my life. "Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life." You want my motives to be pure- in my actions, even in my prayers! Father, may I have the same attitude as Christ Jesus, completely humble, completely submissive, completely pure. I know I can't have any of this on my own! I know that my heart is ugly. My motives always look to ME naturally. But, praise be to God! I am a new creature in Christ, a brand new Creation! I have been born again. It is no longer me that lives in me, but YOU. I want to have the heart of Jesus. I don't want to be selfish or self-centered. I want to look at others more than myself. Forgive my selfish heart attitudes, Lord. Purify every thought, every desire, every motive. Less of me, Lord, more of You. Less of me, more of You. None of me. All of You. In Jesus' Name I pray. Amen.

Please visit the Gathering at the Well for more women striving to live as Titus 2 women.

Storms and Merchants.....Psalm 107 Part 4

As I study Psalm 107, I am amazed that I have read and reread this Psalm so many times without really pondering it as I have these last few days. There is so much God says through just this one chapter of His Word alone! Isn’t God’s Word so wonderful? It truly is so much more precious than silver or gold. It is Life and refreshment to the soul! Father, I pray you would give me deep insight into your precious Word today!

The next section of this Psalm shows the praise of another group of people- merchants. “Others went out on the sea in ships; they were merchants on the mighty waters.” The Amplified says that they were traveling to do business. Now, there is nothing wrong with doing business, but it seems that this group of men had become proud. I wonder if their pursuit of money had led them to thinking of themselves “more highly than they ought.” They hit some “rough waters” (ever hit rough waters in life?) and “in their peril their courage melted away.” Again, I like the Amplified bible, “These see the works of the LORD and His wonders in the deep. For He commands and raises up the stormy wind, which lifts up the waves of the sea. Those aboard mount up to the heavens, they go down again to the deeps: their courage melts away because of their plight. They reel to and fro and stagger like a drunken man and are at their wit’s end (all their wisdom has come to nothing).” A couple of things stood out to me. First, God brought the storm (He commands and raises up the stormy wind). And, no matter how wise we THINK we are, God has a way of humbling us! They see the “works of His hands” and “His wonders in the deep.” It His awesomeness, His majesty, His creation, His glory that opens our eyes! Remember Isaiah when He sees God in His glory? He cries, “Woe is me! I am undone!” We see how AWESOME God is and how puny we are in contrast! This passage also reminds me of the first chapter of Romans when Paul tells us that no man has excuse to deny God because God is seen all through His awesome creation. I love that their courage “melted away.”

“Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble, and He brought them out of their distress.” God is so kind! He brings us out of our distress! “He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed. They were glad when it grew calm, and He guided them to their desired haven.” Isn’t God so good? Not only does He calm the storm, but He guides them to their location! He helps them to get where they want to go.

“Let them give thanks to the LORD for His unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men. Let them exalt Him in the assembly of the people and praise Him in the council of elders.”

Praise You, God! You are awesome! You are glorious! You are full of mercy and grace and boundless love! Thank You, God, that You do not allow me to search for other things, like the merchants, filled with pride and relying on my own wisdom. Thank You, God that You bring the storm that humbles me, but more importantly, that You calm the storm when I have repented, and then, oh God, that You bring me to my desired destination. How precious You are. How perfect. Holy. Praise You, God. Praise You.