At Home....At the Well

As we gather at the well today, Michelle from She Looketh Well has challenged us to look deep within...at our hearts....at our motives. She openly and honestly shared how God revealed to her heart how she was following selfish motives (noble and "good") instead of her true biblical purpose. She was active in ministry and church, but her heart was not complete until she fulfilled her true purpose- being a wife and mother. Please take a few minutes to read her story At the Well.

Michelle's story resonated with me as well. As a women's speaker and writer (and even blogger), I have wrestled with my heart and my motives. Since 2004, I have had to continually turn over my motives and desires to God. At times, ministry and mothering have been at odds. God has continued to remind me that my FIRST and FOREMOST ministry, my priority, is my family- my husband and children.





It struck me one time in full force when I was speaking at an engagement. I had just finished speaking and I was alone in my room, praying and praising God for what He had done in the women's hearts. Several women, in tears, had "breakthroughs." Some had been released from bondage. Others, for the first time had realized how much God loved them. I was rejoicing that these precious women, many for the first time, realized the difference between "religion" and a "relationship" with God. Some had come to Christ for the first time. And then God spoke to my heart, opening my eyes.





I thought (and prayed), "God, what difference does it make in my life if this whole room of women love You and have a relationship with You, but my children do not?" I realized then that I needed to be just as concerned with my children's relationship with God as I was with women I have come to know in ministry. I couldn't just take for granted that my kids "got it." Of course I prayed with my kids and for my kids and we had many biblical object lessons. I taught them bible stories and they are familiar with God's people of the Bible. But.....



Did I tell my girls, like I tell the women at retreats, how much "God is enthralled with their beauty?" That they "are precious and honored in their sight"? Do I continually teach them (as I do in conferences) to "not conform to the world, but be transformed by the renewing of their minds?" Do I tell them over and over (as I do in retreats) that "the Lord their God is with them. He is mighty to save. He takes great delight in them. He will quiet them with His love. And He rejoices over them with singing"? That weekend, I realized that everything that just comes naturally to me at a women's conference, I needed to do those things at home with my OWN children!





My wonderful friend and spiritual mother, Donna would continually remind me as well that my FIRST ministry is my family. Click here for more on spiritual mothers.





Yes, the "world" has a lot to do with our restless feelings of wanting "more" than "just" mothering. We look at "glamorous" women who seem so "together" and sometimes feel inadequate. And, let's face it, laundry isn't all that exciting. It can be really fun preparing for a women's conference- spending time writing, praying....putting together cute outfits.....



I continually went to the Word to renew my thinking.





And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father, through Him. Colossians 3:17





I needed to look at housework differently...(and I still work on this!). I needed to be thankful for a beautiful home to keep for my family, to be thankful for the clothes we have as I launder them....And, as I take care of these things, going about my chores, doing it for GOD.



And, then, finally, for me, I had to realize that there ARE different seasons of life. I KNOW that God has placed this desire in my heart to encourage women through ministry. I know that God has placed this love of writing within me. He has anointed me in a speaking ministry. I know those are His callings upon my heart. But, in this season of my life, my children and husband take much of my time. I know it will not always be so..... I want to enjoy this season....being HERE for my family. That means I may not be able to blog as often as I like. It means I have lots of ideas and "topics" that I continue to "store up" in my heart (and in tons of spiral notebooks!) I continue to remind myself to be patient and wait on the Lord. I know His timing is perfect. So, even though I may not be speaking as often as I would like, I am resting in Him, knowing that His plan is perfect. It means that I must also continue to examine my motives. Am I doing something out of obedience to God, or am doing it for praise of man?

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves." Philippians 2:3

I continually pray this! Lord, reveal my motives! I don't want to do anything out of selfish ambition or vain conceit!!!!

Michelle asks us to ponder a few questions:
Has your heart found its way home?
Do you find complete fulfillment in your biblical purpose?

Please join us at the well today! You may find yourself a bit challenged as you wander "back home"!




Please click here for more encouragement on this same topic.

At the Well

Wow! Another challenging topic to ponder.....the last few days have been full of thought-provoking topics in bloggy land. I have had to (gulp) take a long look into my heart, bringing lots of issues before God. Please check out Saturday's Cafe Chat for another challenging thought!

As we gather together, let us take a look deep within our hearts. Lord, search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Let's ponder this week's question:

Are my motives pleasing to you, God?
The discussion questions are:

What is the real underlying motive for all the good stuff that you do?
FOR EXAMPLE:
Do you go to church to fulfill an obligation?
Do you get involved to get a reaction from someone; possibly pity, recognition or even money? Do you volunteer in your child’s classroom to analyze the new teacher or is it to help? Do you share prayer requests for a chance to gossip or because you truly care and are praying?

OK. Who has been reading my journal? Who has been listening to my whisperings to God? Who has found out the secret fears of my heart?

I struggle with this.

I CONSTANTLY go before God, confessing that my motives are selfish, pleading with Him to get my heart right!

I am a person who worries too much about "getting credit" for my accomplishments. (Pride, pride, pride, pride, UGLY pride). In conversations, I find myself slipping in little tidbits here and there, letting people know that I am the one who organized taking meals for a friend, I am praying for that desperate person, I have organized a "God's Girls" club at my house with my daughters and their friends, I volunteered at such and such event......(OK, being real honest today! Hope you still come back, it's not pretty!)

And, it gets worse. I catch myself taking credit (in my heart) when the women in my small group bible study are growing in their relationship with God- as if I HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT!!!!

I get so MAD at myself because ALL THE GLORY GOES TO GOD! How could I take credit for something He is doing?????

As a speaker, it is something I continually bring to God. I don't want my focus to be on ME or how many women are at the event or how I have impacted the women....

I don't want it to be about ME!!!!

Perhaps this is why Jesus says, "Be careful not to do your 'acts of righteousness' before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in Heaven....do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving (not just money, but your "giving" of yourself, time, talents, service....) may be in secret."

Jesus knew (knows) the condition of our human hearts. He knows that we struggle with pride, pleasing people, building up our own selves...

This is why I have tried to keep my "good deeds" secret! I make it a point NOT to tell others what I am doing. Sometimes I have to talk to God in my head, saying, "God, I am purposely being silent. You know what I have done. I want to do it for You, Lord!"

I continue to bring every thought to Him in this area, telling Him that I DO NOT want to have any selfish motives or wrong ambition...

"Do nothing our of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider
others better than yourselves." -Philippians 2:3

This verse spoke to me several years ago when I first began speaking. I didn't (do not now) want there to be ANY selfish ambition when I speak for Him. I want it to be all about HIM and for His glory!

Lord, may ever motive be pure! Lord, if there is any selfish ambition or vain conceit, please purify my heart. Make my heart right, O LORD!

I helped organize the first large women's conference at my home church. This was the first event of its size and it WAS AMAZING! God truly "stretched out Hand and performed many signs and miracles"- setting women free from bondage, bringing women into relationship with Himself for the first time, drawing women to Christ, healing hearts and minds...

This is the verse He showed me:

"We are not trying to please men but God, who tests our hearts." -1Thessalonians
2:4

Lord, test my heart! Show me if I am trying to please men or You. May I always seek to please You and You alone!

Meditate on these passages from James. They spoke to me!

"Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, deeds done IN HUMILITY that comes from wisdom. But if you harbor BITTER ENVY AND SELFISH AMBITION in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil. For where you have ENVY AND SELFISH AMBITION, there you find disorder and every evil practice. But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness."

It is always about our hearts, isn't it? Even when we are "doing good deeds," God is always looking at our hearts.

James goes on to say,

"What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, BECAUSE YOU ASK WITH THE WRONG MOTIVES, that you may spend what you get on your own pleasures."

Lord, I know You care about the condition of my heart. It is important to You. You care more about that than circumstances of my life. "Above all else, guard your heart for it is the wellspring of life." You want my motives to be pure- in my actions, even in my prayers! Father, may I have the same attitude as Christ Jesus, completely humble, completely submissive, completely pure. I know I can't have any of this on my own! I know that my heart is ugly. My motives always look to ME naturally. But, praise be to God! I am a new creature in Christ, a brand new Creation! I have been born again. It is no longer me that lives in me, but YOU. I want to have the heart of Jesus. I don't want to be selfish or self-centered. I want to look at others more than myself. Forgive my selfish heart attitudes, Lord. Purify every thought, every desire, every motive. Less of me, Lord, more of You. Less of me, more of You. None of me. All of You. In Jesus' Name I pray. Amen.

Please visit the Gathering at the Well for more women striving to live as Titus 2 women.