Trust?

Lord, do I really trust you? Have I truly surrendered my life to you? Am I just giving "faith" lip service? If I really do trust, believe, and obey you, do my actions reveal it? Am I truly laying down my life on the alter, or crawling away? Am I a living sacrifice?

God, you know my heart. Lord, you know my desires. you have placed those desires there! But, have I surrendered them to you?

Lord, I say I have surrendered my speaking ministry to you, but have I? I confess I am fearful. What if you don't bring another speaking engagement to me? What if I don't speak for the rest of this year? Am I truly resting in your will? Am I at peace about it? NO! If I truly were "trusting in the Lord with all my heart, not leaning upon my own understanding..." then I would be at peace with what you have planned. I could live my life, resting in your perfect plan for my life.

Am I looking for validation from anyone other than you, Lord? Haven't you told me (more than once!) that you have called me out to speak your Truth? If I know in my heart that speaking is a call from you, why can't trust you with the when and how? "Wait patiently for the Lord....Be still and know that I am God." These verses I know, I teach, I claim, but can I LIVE them??????

Lord, I purpose to lay it down. I choose to surrender. Help me, Lord. I can't do it in my strength. I can't put the peace in my heart. The peace comes with truly surrendering. Help me, Lord. help me to trust you. Help me to obey you. Help me to make you LORD of my life.

I love you, Lord.