We are the Body

Please join me each Monday At the Well for a new Bible Study called "We are the Body". This is being led by my friend, Gina. I am excited to be learning and growing together!

Gina writes this week:

Do you daily study your “reflection” to see if you have “something in your teeth?”

What kind of accountability of believers do you have in your life right now?

This week I would encourage you to take some time to pray and evaluate your life. Spend time in prayer and in the Word and asking God to show you what you need to see. Grab a journal or just a plain notebook and write down your thoughts and prayers. Ask a couple of people who know you well, and who you know will be honest, to take some time to make a list of things that you need to work on. Record these things in your notebook. Then, take the list and bathe it in prayer. It may hurt some, but it will ultimately help you and set you down the path towards holiness.

As you go through this I would like to challenge you to pray about what you are called to and who God would have you reach out to serve and encourage.

Here is an excerpt I have written about MY spiritual mentor/accountability partner, my "spiritual mama", Donna:

Donna is "especially special" to me for so many reasons- she will be truthful with me, not just "tickle my ears," she will grieve with me when I am sad, she makes me laugh, she is so wise, and she is a kind, loving, and caring person. She is a grandma, so she has experienced more life than I have, and she is willing to share her successes and failures, especially in parenting.

Donna is my Spiritual Mom, a true Titus 2 woman. My own dear mom loves God and prays about everything, trusts God, and has a simple faith. But, she doesn't know the Word. She doesn't read the Word. Donna, on the other hand, KNOWS the Word and studies the Word daily, and LOVES the Word.

So, when I need advice, I often ask Donna, instead of my mom, because Donna will give me Godly advice, based on the Word and then we always pray about it! She is so wise! But again, it is Godly wisdom. Truly, much of her advice is "foolishness to the world." Forgive that person???? How could I???? Because in His Word He tells us to and that it will bring His blessing. Be joyful in this situation? It will bring peace. Feeling not at peace about something, then, should you be doing it? The "world" would definitely give me different advice than Donna gives me!

Oh, how thankful I am for my dear friend and mentor. A mentor isn't some distinguished professor, but just someone who is a little "further down the road" than you are. Actually, Lisa Bevere says we DON'T want mentors- we want "mamas." A mentor teaches you what they know, not necessarily wanting you to do better than THEM, so they may hold back a little. (Think of the business world. Would a person want their "underling" to excel?) But, a Mama wants her children not only to do AS WELL as her, but BETTER than her. She wants her children to soar to greater heights than she did. This is Donna- she wants even more for me- especially spiritually.

Do you need a "mama"? Look around. There are many in blogland. I am sure there are many at your church. Be bold- ask a woman to "mama" you. Pray and ask God to bring you one.

Be a "mama". There is always someone who hasn't come as far as you yet. Build relationships. Help one another. Be an example.

"Teach the older women to be reverent in the way they should
live.... and teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to
love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at
home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will
malign the word of God."- Titus 2:3-5

Father, thank you for blessing us with friendships. God, you made us as relational beings to crave companionship, friendship, and fellowship with one another. Thank you, Jehovah Jireh, "The Lord Who Provides" for providing us with mothers and "mamas." Thank you, precious God for caring about us so much that you give us friends, and thank you, Jesus, that you call ME friend! Lord, help me to be a "mama" to those you place in my path. Help me to see when you do. Help me to NOT be so busy that I miss it! Also, Lord, help me to be bold when I need a mama to ask someone. Lord, you are so good, so good. In the Savior's precious Name, the Name above all names, Jesus Christ, I pray. Amen.

I hope you will join us on Mondays to discuss how we can be "The BODY" together!

To Raise Them Up...to NOT be "Mean Girls"!

Have you ever had an experience with a "mean girl"? Have you ever been a "mean girl"? Did you know there were "mean girls" in the Bible? Please join me today At the Well as I share what God has taught me about mean girls!

Cafe Chat......What if they don't think like ME?

I am so glad you joined us for a chat today at the Internet Cafe! The topic is not a light one, but a very thought-provoking question.

Today at the Cafe, Kim asks us:

When it comes to an issue or truth that you believe in, maybe even feel like God revealed that truth to you; how do you respond to another Christian that might have the opposite view from you? Do you feel like the way you respond lines up with how God would want you to respond?

First of all, God ALWAYS wants me to respond in love.

This question is a little "tricky" because how I respond will definitely depend on if this is truth that God has revealed to me personally, or the Truth AND how God CALLS me to respond. There may be things in my own personal walk that God has spoken to my heart. But, that doesn't mean that He is teaching everyone (my friends, my husband, my small group members) the same truth at the same time.

Here's an example. Several years ago, when I was just beginning my walk with the Lord, He placed on my heart to throw away all of my Halloween decorations. I had several "cute" ghosts, witches, etc. I had a desire and conviction to GET RID of everything that represented Halloween. For me, (and this is where we have to be careful. I don't want anyone reading this post to feel condemned if God hasn't laid on your heart the same convictions!) I couldn't stand any Halloween decorations to be in my home- no matter how "cute"! I filled a whole garbage can with decorations.

Now, here is the thing.....I know several Christians who do "celebrate" Halloween and put up witches, ghosts, Frankenstein, etc. God may not have placed on THEIR hearts to toss all of the decorations. I am not to condemn them and tell them all to throw away their decorations. I AM NOT THE HOLY SPIRIT! But, I do share openly with my friends what God has shown ME about it.

Here's another one. There are several TV shows I would not watch because they are not glorifying to God. If I would watch them, the Holy Spirit convicts me and I feel uncomfortable. But, that doesn't mean that I go to my friends and tell them to stop watching their favorite TV shows. I DO openly and honestly share what God is teaching ME and the struggles I may have with obeying. I share how the Spirit is led me and taught me, and allow the Holy Spirit to do the convicting.

God has taught me a truth that I need to get up and spend time with Him daily first thing in the morning. I don't "impose" this truth on others. Again, I share with them my personal experience of needing the Lord's presence and guidance first thing. I share with them that I need to fill up on Him before I try to go about my day, otherwise I find myself depending on my own strength and not Him. But, I can't force this truth on others. I share my own experience, but the desire and truth has to come from the Holy Spirit.

Diet Coke. I used to be addicted and drank several cans a day. God spent a lot of time teaching me about my body being the temple for the Holy Spirit and that DC was horrible for it. God has convicted ME of not drinking it. Although now I drink it in once in awhile, FOR ME, going back to a lifestyle of having it daily would be sin.

So, it is IMPORTANT to SHARE what God is teaching you personally, but don't be judgemental and condemning. I have learned the hard way that only God can do the work of the Holy Spirit.

But, there is a difference between what truths God is teaching you personally and THE Truth. I believe we need to be honest with one another with His Truth and sin.

For example, if a friend would start gossiping about someone on the phone with me, I would stop the conversation and say something like, "I'm sorry. I don't feel comfortable with this. I have struggled with gossip and need to be careful not to engage in it. I don't like to talk about someone when they aren't here."

Now, I am a chicken in person. I can think of two times I walked into a group who was gossiping. I excused myself and walked away immediately without participating, but didn't say anything. I didn't say, "hey guys, this is wrong. We shouldn't talk about someone like that. It's gossip."

And, for me, it's much easier to be honest and authentic in a small group. We are all there to grow in our maturity in the Lord. Our hearts WANT to turn from sin, to walk closer to the Lord, to press in. So, speaking the Truth in love is "welcomed."

But, there are times in life when God WILL call you to sit down with someone, IN LOVE, and confront them about a sin.

God has called me to confront a friend about her sin, BUT, HE INITIATED IT!!!! He opened the door for the conversation. He placed on my heart such a strong command to talk to her that when I stalled, trying to avoid it, I had such a sense of unrest, no peace. I knew without a doubt that God was commanding me to talk to her.

I have a friend that is caught in a sexual sin. God placed on my heart to sit with her and confront her lovingly, sharing with her that this sin was not God's best for her and that it hurt Him deeply that she would walk in disobedience. I knew it could only be God because we had an incredible, loving conversation full of tears (from both of us). The conversation brought us closer together as friends. Her sin, which was out in the open but never discussed had become "the elephant in the room." After our conversation, we can openly talk about. And, she knows that I care about her enough to bring up uncomfortable things BECAUSE I love her.

My hairdresser, on the other hand, is a different example. He is homosexual. I have known him for 8 years and God has NOT placed on my heart to confront him. Instead, I pray for him and LOVE him. I share with him personal stories of my own convictions and battles. He asks many questions. I wait for a time when GOD OPENS THE DOOR to talk to him about it.

Wow, I know this is a long post....didn't mean to ramble and I don't know if I even answered the question! LOL! These were the thoughts that came to my mind....

I guess one last thing. Kim asked us how we respond to people with the opposite view of us with truths God has spoken to us.

Again, I believe we need to be honest, but NOT try to be the Holy Spirit. I think politics is a good example.

God has laid on my heart that I can NOT vote for a politician who is pro-choice. Period. No discussions. I also care if the politician would support gay marriage. I would not vote for him. God has revealed to ME personally these truths and I am passionate about my political beliefs. But, I have had conversations with other Christians who do believe the OPPOSITE. They voted and were concerned with economic issues. And, although we had conversations where I prayed over the conversation, gave bible references, and shared what God has taught me, they didn't change their beliefs. They voted the same. These conversations were difficult. And, I have to admit I couldn't believe they thought differently than ME! (I tend to need to be "right", especially when I know God has taught me things).

I had to be intentional in NOT allowing these conversations to taint my love for this person. I dreaded seeing another email in my inbox from her. I would have liked to avoid responding. AND, I needed to pray over each word of my responses, making sure God was directing my words. I had to be aware and alert and not allow strife to enter in my heart. When I saw here at church at Christmas, a fleeting negative feeling came over me. But, I pushed it away, hugged her genuinely and tightly and wished her "Merry Christmas." In that instance, all negative feelings vanished I did feel love towards her. Through it all, the words I heard at a Joyce Meyer conference in September kept rolling through my mind: "We are not responsible for anyone else's vote. In the end, we are only responsible for our own."

Please stop over at the Cafe and join our chat!

Cafe Chat....with an HONEST friend!

I love the topic that Kim has chatting about today! It is about AUTHENTIC friendships, and boy do we need them as Christians! We need friends who will be honest with us and help keep us accountable.

Proverbs 27:6

Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.

Kim says, "So today, I ask you to share a time when a friend may have wounded you by speaking hard words to you, and even though you were hurt you realized it was the best and most loving thing he/she could have done. (If you can share the specifics that would be great, but if not feel free to use generalities). "

I have one friend, Donna (my spiritual "mama") who will ALWAYS be honest with me! I call her because I WANT a friend to be honest. I have many friends that I could call when I want to whine and hear them say, "Poor Tracy." But not Donna.... She will tell me I need to apologize to Brian. She will tell me that I can't wallow in self-pity. She knows the Word and doesn't "tickle my ears", telling me what I would LIKE to hear! We need to be AUTHENTIC in friendships. I wrote about authenticity here and here. I wrote about Donna here.

What I would like to chat about though, is a time when God called ME to tell something to a friend that I didn't want to! I am not a person who easily tells people when they are doing something wrong (except for my hubby- OOPS! That would be another post!). I don't like conflict. Don't like debate. Don't like to argue. I certainly don't feel comfortable bringing up something UNCOMFORTABLE!

But sometimes God calls us to do just this! With Donna, we have an open agreement to tell each other these things. And usually, I am coming TO HER, asking her to help me through it. For instance, I already know that my heart is being selfish....I need to talk through it/pray about it. But, there are times God will call us to confront our sisters (or brothers) in Christ, "wounding them with sincere words." (Proverbs verse). Also see 1Corinthians 4 and 5.

I have a friend who had a baby out of wedlock and lives off/on with her boyfriend. We are close and she is a Christian. Right after she had her baby, God began laying on my heart to talk to her. I knew she knew that she was living in a sinful relationship. It was becoming hard to be around her because we weren't talking about it. It was like "the elephant in the room." It was like were just ignoring the obvious.

So, God, being relentless, not letting me stick my head in the sand, make sure I had NO PEACE until I "dealt with it."

So, after much PRAYER, I invited my friend over for lunch. Through tears, I shared with her how God laid this on my heart. I shared that God wanted so much more for her....how living together wasn't God's plan. We talked about sin. All these things she already "knew". We both CRIED and CRIED. I talked to her IN LOVE.

And, it made our friendship even stronger! She knew I cared about her enough to do something hard, even risking our friendship, for her greater good. I truly cared about HER. She knows that I will talk straight with her. There is no longer an uncomfortable "elephant in the room."

Please visit the Cafe to chat about friendships and loving our friends enough to be honest with them!

In Other Words...

"To be intimate with others is to reveal our innermost selves to them, including
our emotions, thoughts and desires. For such deep sharing of the soul and spirit
to occur, people must respect and trust each other. ... In a world controlled by
sin, however, to choose to be intimate is to choose to be hurt. Yet Jesus calls
us to this kind of intimacy with Him and with one another."~ Kenneth A. Schmidt
~

This kind of intimacy requires honesty. Honest is NOT something we are always willing to be....Sometimes we put on masks- our happy face. Our "everything is really OK face". "I really am not such a failure" face. "I am really not hurt" face.

Maybe it because we are embarrassed or ashamed of the deepest whispers of our hearts. I don't want anyone to see that ugliness- the jealousy, the envy, the critical spirit.

Maybe it is because we haven't even admitted our true feelings to ourselves.

Maybe it because I don't want to disappoint.....Shouldn't a Christian be "above" such pettiness?

Maybe it is because I am afraid of being hurt. I may be rejected if I share this.

The enemy loves for us to keep such things secret, in the darkness of our hearts. He encourages us to bury our feelings, our emotions, our ideas, our "mess ups." We begin to believe we are the only ones who fail, who have temptations....It is in the hidden places where we feel shame.

But, God who has created us to be relational (especially as women!), knows that we must share, encourage, and be honest with one another to flourish. There is risk involved, because, like Schmidt points out, we live in a fallen world, full of real people who will make mistakes- people who will hurt us either intentionally or unintentionally. But, this is what LOVE is all about. Love is not just a beautiful feeling from a Hallmark card, but a behavior that we choose to walk out.

"Love is patient. Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. (1Corin. 13) ...clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against on another." (Col. 3:12-13) We need to extend to one another the same grace we have been given! We need to "bear with one another" and believe that as humans, we will make mistakes.

Why? Why take the risk that we will be hurt? Because this is what authentic relationships do! We need to be genuine and REAL with one another. This is how our friendships grow and bear fruit and flourish, but it is also how we grow and flourish and bear fruit. "As iron sharpens iron," friends sharpen one another. As Hebrews says, "we spur one another on." We encourage one another in faith. We grow together in our relationship with one another and our relationship with the Lord.

God calls us to this intimacy with one another, but more importantly with HIM! We need to be honest with God and with ourselves. God already knows the deepest whispers of our hearts (He doesn't NEED us to share them with Him), but we only grow in our walk with Him when we surrender them to Him.

But, the difference of being honest with God, being intimate with Him, is that He will NOT hurt us, like we risk people doing. God will never make fun us, reveal our secrets to anyone, or even be critical of our mistakes. ("Therefore, there is now NO condemnation in Christ Jesus). God says in James that He gives wisdom to anyone who asks, that He gives it generously and WITHOUT FINDING FAULT! We can completely trust God. The Bible says that God is trustworthy.

When we choose intimacy with God, we NEVER "choose to be hurt." God only has our best interests "at heart." God knows us better than we know ourselves and He knows our end from the beginning. He loves us more than we can even imagine. There are times that God leads us to deep honesty with Him and with ourselves, and this can be painful. But, He only does this so that He "can bind up the wounds of the brokenhearted" and so that He can heal us, set us free, and make us victorious!

Father, I want to have a deeper intimacy with you! I love you! Help me to be honest with you, sharing my deepest feelings with you- my hopes and dreams, my failures, and my hurts. Lord, I pray that you would bring trustworthy friends into my life that I can be intimate with. Lord, I thank you deeply for the dear sisters in Christ that I love and who I trust completely! Father, thank you for friendships. I praise you. In Jesus' Name I pray. Amen.