I wish you were the BEST Mommy!

"I wish you were the best mommy."

Ouch. Those words can sting- especially when you are in the middle of a crowded video store. What would bring such exasperated words from a four-year-old?

"Mommy, can I have cotton candy?"

No, honey.

"Can I rent THIS movie?"

No, not tonight.

"An ice cream sandwich would make me feel better. Can I have ice cream?"

No. It's too close to bedtime.

"I wish you were the BEST mommy."

Oh, how familiar those words sound to my heart.

"Lord, can I have this?"

No, Tracy. Not this time.

"Lord, can I do this?"

No, Tracy, it is not the right timing.

"Lord, if You just allowed THIS- I would feel better!"

No, Tracy.

Sigh......Lord, I wish YOU were the "BEST Daddy."

In other words, I wish You would let me have my way! I wish You would say "yes" to the things I want! I want what I WANT!

Do you ever feel like that four-year-old?

I know in my mind what the Truth is- "God's ways are not my ways" (Isaiah 55:8-9). I also know Matthew 7:11. "If you then, evil as you are, know how to give and advantageous gifts to your children, how much more will your Father Who is in heaven (perfect as He is) give good and advantageous things to those who keep on asking Him." AMP

And yet.....

I can become focused on MY way. I can be stubborn, immature, and self-centered. I can lose sight of the fact that God is Sovereign. He is good. He answers prayer. HE knows what is best for me.

Cotton candy, although tasty is not good for me- especially at 7 PM. "THAT" movie would not be appropriate for my little eyes. And....alas....ice cream is wonderful, but I will not always be allowed to have it- especially right before bed when I have a difficult time going to sleep anyway! Because I love my daughter, I say no at times. Our Father in Heaven, who loves us infinitely more than we could ever love anyone, loves us too much to always say "yes."

We have to remember, God always, always "answers our prayers," but not always the way we want or understand. Sometimes, when God answers, the answer is “No.” Sometimes the answer is “not yet.” And it may not seem “right” or fair to us. We have to remember two important things- God’s ways are not our ways and God’s timing is not our timing. But, God’s ways are perfect and His timing is perfect. We can’t see things the way God can. God has your WHOLE life planned, not just this season of it. Remember, life on earth is just a snapshot of our eternal life. God sees the end from the beginning.

God is your FATHER. He has a plan for you. He knit you together in your mother’s womb. He created you. He has counted the number of hairs on your head. He takes care of you, better than you ever could. Again, He knows what is best for you, or how you will grow from your life experiences. He can see “the big picture of your life.”

So, although we may not always get "the cotton candy," we can be assured that our Father loves us so much and ALWAYS does what is best for us.

"The Lord your God is with you. He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you. He will quiet you with His love. He will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

And, as a mother, I have to make the hard choices that don't always make me the most "popular" with my children. I have to "do the hard thing" of telling them "no", even when my daughter tells the whole video store that I'm not the "best Mommy"!

Father, thank You for loving me so much. Lord, thank You that You sometimes say "no." Thank You that You are the best parent I could ever have. I love You, Lord. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Join me today at Laced With Grace where I will be talking about ROOTS....

AND the Cafe where I will be talking about childhood phases....and growing out of them!

Do you ever feel PECULIAR????

Did you know that the Bible calls us "peculiar" people??? Do you ever FEEL peculiar because you're peculiar???? Join me today At the Well as I discuss this walk as "peculiar people" and how to help our kids TRANSFORM and not CONFORM.....

Click HERE.

Do you have your oxygen mask on?

Listening to the flight attendant tell us all about oxygen masks, I couldn't help but make the "spiritual connection"- especially when she began talking about children. She said that it was very important to put on our own masks BEFORE we put them on any children seated next to us.

I thought about me, as a mother, Sunday School teacher, mentor to teenage girls.... I need to get my oxygen on BEFORE I attempt to help them put on theirs! I need to make sure I am seeking MY oxygen- Jesus Christ- before I help them to seek Him as well. Like the oxygen, I may start to help them before I am secured, but I pass out! And, my deepest desire is for them to be SAVED and SECURE as well....but I can't make a difference if I am lying unconscious next to them! I must first secure my own mask, then reach over and put on theirs... What may be really cool, though, is that they have WATCHED ME and learned how to do it themselves. I am there to check on it and make sure it is secure.

Hmmm......

Lord, may I always seek You as my life-giving, life-sustaining oxygen! May I also help others to secure their "oxygen" masks as well! Lord, I love You! In Jesus' Name I pray. Amen.

They are watching..........at Word-Filled Wednesday

Yay! Finally, today is the day that I get my "new" computer! I have been long awaiting it.....and have been reposting many of my favorite older posts for WFW. Many have been early posts that I added a picture to. BUT, this one (one of my FAVORITES!) already had the picture. My prayer is that is blesses you! And, check out Susan at Forever His for more great inspiration!

"...you became imitators of us and of the Lord; in spite of severe suffering, you welcomed the message with the joy given by the Holy Spirit. And so you became a model to all the believers..." -1Thessalonians 1:6-7

reposted from 1/08

Aaron, my four year old, decided yesterday that he wanted to go into the office with Daddy to "work." So, he got ready, packing his bag with crayons, markers, coloring books, and envelopes. He took a shower and "shaved" like Daddy, got dressed (tie and all), put on his cologne, and was good to go. Now, that was adorable, but what was really neat was that his big sister Aly, 7, helped him get ready. They had been playing house and she was pretending to be his wife and his helpmate. She helped him pick his clothes, "ironed" his shirts, helped pack his bag, combed his hair, complete with hair gel, and reminded him to put on his cologne! When I complimented her about being a wonderful helpmate and very kind, she smiled and said, "Well, you are a good role model! I want to help my husband like you help Daddy."


Well, there were tears in my eyes! And, it was an encouragement that God knew I needed. But, it was also a HUGE reminder that our little ones ARE WATCHING us! Thankfully, Aly is seeing me role model helping my family and taking care of them. But, unfortunately, my children also see me "role model" negative behaviors- losing my temper, yelling.... And, I see those behaviors in my children, too, reminding me that the saying, "Do what I say, not what I do......" is true! I want to learn by this delightful experience that, with the power of God, I can live out my beliefs, and my children will "pick them up." Lord, I know they are watching!

Father, thank you for little reassurances like this. Thank you that you are such an encourager. Help me, Lord, to shine your Light to my children. Help me, by my words and actions to model living for you. Thank you, Lord! In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.

To Raise Them Up...At the Well

I'm At the Well today! Please stop over to read a devotion about teaching our children as we "walk along the path!"

Thankful Thursday

Since it is late Wednesday night while I write my "Thankful Thursday," I have to say what comes to my mind first is being grateful for an awesome day today with my kids. Because it was a rainy day, we had lots of fun playing board games.

We had a Monopoly championship, then played my favorite, Life.

Lord, thank You for a time of rest and relaxation today. Thank You that we didn't have to "GO" anywhere or "accomplish" anything. In today's world of hurry here and go there and finish this activity and accomplish this goal.......it is so WONDERFUL to just do NOTHING- but laugh together, have fun, and PLAY.

Why don't I allow myself to do this more often? And, why do I get irritated when my family has no problem in this area of resting/relaxation/playing? I sometimes get frustrated at their (Brian's and the kids) LACK of being upset that things AREN'T "getting done." They don't feel "guilty" when our never-ending to do list "ain't" done.

I know, Lord, that I need to rest in You more often. I need to NOT focus on the doing and just focus on the being. I am not measured by how good I am or how much I accomplish or how together I am. I am good because You are good. My life is hidden with Christ in God. I am "all right" because Your Spirit lives within me, because I am Your Child, and because the blood of Christ has done all that needs to be accomplished.

So, as I ponder how fast "Life" happens when playing the board game- you finish college, choose a career, get married, have kids and retire all in an afternoon- I realize that REAL LIFE happens at equally break-neck speed and I need to slow down and enjoy it! I have awesome, wonderful kids who WANT ME to play games with them. I know this is just a season and before a blink of an eye they will be grown.

So thank You, Lord, for an afternoon of refreshment. And, more importantly, God, thank You for wisdom in teaching me to slow down and rest in You. Enjoy my time each day. Enjoy my kids.

Thank You for rainy days.

Please visit my friend Lynn for more Thankfulness!

Motherly Mothers Gathering at the Well...

This week at the Gathering, we are talking about the Transformation to "Motherly":

The discussion questions are:

Are there areas of hardness and coldness in my life?
What are the roots of these? Do I need to release someone who has hurt me in my past? Do I need to confess and release myself from the bondage of sinful patterns in my own life?What are some ways that I can turn the conversation around when other women begin to gripe and complain about their children?

Name some creative ways we can create warmer, more inviting
environments for our children.

Hmmmm....Whenever I watch "Leave It To Beaver," I
always so amazed at how

"perfect" June Cleaver is. She is everything I want to be..

Meek.

Sweet.

Gentle.

Wise.

Forgiving.

Inviting.

Warm.

She doesn't lose her temper.

She doesn't say things to her boys that she regrets.

She doesn't yell.

One of my favorite scripture passages is 1Peter 3:3-4

Wives, your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair
and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of
your inner self, the unfading beauty of a GENTLE and QUIET spirit, which is of
great worth in God's sight.

The Amplified says, "But let the inward adorning and beauty of the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible and unfading charm of a gentle and peaceful spirit, which [is not anxious or wrought up, but] is very precious in the sight of God."

Oh, how I want the hidden person of my heart to be gentle and sweet. How I want to be a Light shining the gentleness and love of Jesus.

One area where I struggle is having a critical spirit. I have high expectations for myself. I am "hard on myself." I tend to get mad at myself if I don't "perform" to my standards. I have struggled with feelings of being a failure when I don't do what I think I need to do.

So.....at times, I project that on my husband...and kids. When my husband is sick, for example, I will think, "when I AM sick, I keep going. Why can't he???"

And....I can be critical with my kids....put too high of expectations on them.

Criticizing.

Fathers, do not irritate and provoke your children to anger [do
not exasperate them to resentment], but rear them [tenderly] in the training and
discipline and the counsel and admonition of the Lord. Ephesians 6:4
AMPLIFIED

Tenderly.

This is something God has revealed to me (THANKFULLY!) and something (only through God) that I have improved upon tremendously. When I allow the Holy Spirit to guide me, I don't have to say the first thought that pops into my mind (like, "HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU......")

But not without consequences.

My 12 year old often will be critical of his younger siblings.

So, it is training in the counsel of the Lord. For both of us!

Washing ourselves in the Word transforms our thinking and our negative responses.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is
helping building others up (encouraging) according to THEIR needs, that it may
benefit those who listen. Ephesians 2:29

and...

Clothe yourselves (this means I must make the choice- just as I
put on physical clothing, I must CLOTHE myself spiritually) with compassion,
kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other (I should bear
with my own children!) and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one
another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues, put on
love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Colossians 3:12-14

Above all things have an intense and unfailing love for one another, for love
covers a multitude of sins [forgives and disregards the offenses of others].
1Peter 4:8

It is a "fine line" that we walk as parents. We must teach our children how to live blameless and pure, seeking God and His ways. I have to teach my children the difference between right and wrong. I must discipline them. There must be consequences for bad behavior.

But, one thing that God has whispered to me repeatedly, especially with Aly, my most sensitive child is "Be careful. Don't beat her up. Don't beat down her spirit."

I am so thankful for the Holy Spirit's guidance. And, when I make mistakes, I must go to my kids and apologize and ask for their forgiveness.

One of my favorite quotes is:

One of the best books I have read on PRACTICAL ideas of how to be motherly (and wifely and Godly!) is "A Woman After God's Own Heart." Elizabeth George gives practical ideas such as celebrating when your kids come home from school. This has such an impact on my kids when I make the time to do it! I have our fancy dishes out to give them a snack and sit down to talk about their day. It is a celebration that they are returning home. I loved this idea and they do as well!

I think the most important thing about being a motherly mother is being there for them....talking with them....sharing time and secrets with them....being THERE- mentally and physically. My kids love to watch movies together. But, they don't like if I am on the laptop when we are. They want my whole attention (even if we are giving our attention to the TV screen!). If we are in a conversation and the phone rings, I don't want them to think that the person on the phone is more important than them. I tell them I will call back.

God has blessed me with the most important ministry a person can ever have- being a mother. It is more important than speaking and writing. It is more important than teaching Sunday School. It is more important than leading a small group women's bible study. It is more important than volunteering in the community.

How I long to be that Proverbs 31 woman whose "children arise and call her blessed."

Please visit the Gathering at the Well for more motherly insight!

Gathering at the Well...with friends

Friendship in Your Family

The discussion questions are:

What is your definition of friendship?
Did you follow the belief that we should not be friends with our children?
Has that changed?
In what ways can we befriend our husbands and children?
What can we do to teach those skills to someone else?

Boy! This was a "tough" subject at our house two years ago, when Andrew was in 5th grade!

I guess my "definition" of friendship would be a relationship with two people who care for one another, love one another, give grace to each other, forgiving and overlooking each other's faults. I know I could ask my friends for help any time and they would sacrifice to help me.

Clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts." Colossians 3:12-15

I, of course, have very close friends and casual friends, or "acquaintances"- people I may chat with but not CONFIDE in...

I guess, pondering what I have just said, I would have to say that my best friends ARE my family members....Brian IS my best friend. He knows me completely. I can share everything with him.

And, we like to spend time together as a family. We like to play together, watch movies together, have fun together. We joke and laugh. I would do anything for my kids and husband- sacrifice anything to help them. My family can confide in me and I can trust them not share our "secrets." This happened recently when Andrew confided in me a problem he was having with his friend. It was everything I could do to NOT call this boy's mom and let her know what was going on! But, if I did, I would lose Andrew's trust, something I wasn't willing to do! We continued to pray about it together. God gave Andrew wisdom and the boys eventually worked it out.

With Brian, my husband, it is "easy" to have this friendship relationship. We are companions, confidants, best friends...

But, with our children, it is a little "stickier".

It's tough because we love our kids, enjoy playing with them, and we have lots of fun together. We are playful together, tickling, wrestling, laughing.... We play games together and enjoy spending time with one another.

But...

We are MORE than our kids' "FRIEND."

This is what we struggled explaining to Andrew two years ago. He would get angry when we told him, "We're not your 'friend,' but your 'parent', Andrew." I think he heard it as "We're not friends. We don't like you." And, when he was little, we always called him "Little Buddy." We didn't want him to blur the lines of respect. At this crucial age, he was exploring the boundaries of authority. We wanted him to know we loved him MORE than a friend. We cared about the man he would grow up to be. We wanted him to know that our relationship was about MORE than just having fun. We were/are his teachers as well. We wanted him to understand the responsibility God had/has given us to "train up a child"- him.

We wanted him to understand that sometimes we would have to say "no" when it seems like "all the other parents" were saying "yes." We wanted him to understand that we weren't just thinking of today, but thinking of his future as well.

We wanted him to understand respect for authority and submission. We knew in order for him to understand this submission to an "invisible" God, he had to understand submission to visible parents. I found it difficult to live this out at times and had to really pray Ephesians 6:4, "Fathers, do not exasperate your children, instead, bring them up in the training and instructions of the Lord." I did not want to exasperate Andrew as I was trying to teach him!

He must manage his own family well and see that this children obey him with proper respect. 1Timothy 3:4

Boy, that year was tough as Andrew was growing and maturing. We worked through it and he understands the boundaries of respect. We ARE friends, but we are so much more.

Father God, help us live out this life with our families. Give us wisdom in teaching our children. Thank You for giving us grace when we make mistakes. Remind us to extend that same grace to our loved ones. In Jesus' Name we pray. Amen.

Please visit the Well today to gather more insight on friendships and family!

What are YOU learning?

Wow! I am getting a late start this morning! But, I wanted to continue to join Gina at Chat with an Old Lady....so "better late than never" as my mama says!

I was pondering Deuteronomy 11:18-21:

"Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your
hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children,
talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when
you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the doorframes of your
houses and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be
many in the land that the LORD swore to give your forefathers, as many as the
days that the heavens are above the earth."


The funny thing is...I hadn't been "studying these verses recently. But, that's what "hiding His Word in our hearts" is all about. It becomes a part of us. The Holy Spirit will put us in remembrance of verses when we need them!

Anyway, I have been thinking about these verses because I have been purposefully teaching my kids His Word, "talking about them when we sit and walk, lie down and get up." We have always talked about the Word, talked about God, watched movies like Veggie Tales, sang Christian songs....

BUT amazing things have been happening when I have taken the NEXT step- really TEACHING the Word, talking about what it means, using it in everyday situations....

It all began with Edie when she shared how she teaches her grandchildren bible verses with a reward system. My kids have TAKEN OFF with this! We have been learning a new verse almost daily. The kids even initiate learning the verse first thing in the morning ("When you get up") even if I don't remember (you see, that candy is a GREAT motivator!) But, then, all through the day, driving to school ("walking along the road"), setting the table (when you sit at home), and tucking them in at night (when you lie down). We have had wonderful conversations about the WORD!

Wednesday we learned 1John 3:18, "Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth." We talked about how LOVE means more than saying "I love you," but how LOVE is an action. We talked about what this LOOKS like in life. They got the "obvious" things, like "reading the Bible, praying, going to church." They got the "big" things we do- sponsoring a child through Compassion International. and visiting the nursing home. But, loving in actions means the "little things" that maybe no one else may notice. We went "deeper" and discussed things like being nice to kids at school, even when they aren't nice back, using kind words, saying I'm sorry, forgiving others.....

We also did something else really fun when I tucked in the kids (when you lie down). I told them about something I like to do sometimes during my prayer/worship time when I am out walking in the mornings. I like to think about God and His names and attributes using the alphabet. I go through the alphabet and think of a word that represents God using each letter. For example, A is for AWESOME, B is for BEAUTIFUL, C is for CARING...... Well, personally, I have not usually gotten past G or H...but the boys and I went all through to Z!!!!

I am learning, as I grow as a Christian, to teach my children about God. God is part of every moment of my life! I have a RELATIONSHIP with Him and He is the most important part of me. Unless I share that with my family, they won't know. They can't "read my mind." I am beginning to open up my own personal relationship with them. It's weird- I will share all of these truths with women when I am speaking or on my blog, but sometimes I would FORGET to share these truths with my own family! Or, life would get busy and we would be running here and there..... God is always a part of everything, from Christian radio to prayer, but (and I don't know if I am explaining this very well!) I am beginning to share my very most intimate, personal aspects of my relationship with God with them. I have been making my "silent" prayers in my head OUT LOUD prayers.

AND, I have been so much more intentional about teaching them the Word daily! We discuss what it "looks like" in everyday life.

Moms, our generation has gotten into a VERY BAD habit of sitting back and letting our church or Christian school do all of the teaching. We think they are getting what they need there and we have released our position as "teacher" to them. But, God is very specific telling us it is OUR responsibility to teach our kids ALL THE TIME!

Lord, may I always tie these Words of Yours on my heart and mind! May my children seek You and Your Word. May Your Word be part of every fiber of our beings! In Jesus' Name we pray. Amen!

Please visit Gina to see what SHE is learning! And, I would love to hear what YOU are learning!